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Acina Joy Oct 2020
I'm glad I never met your face;
I'm glad  you're far from home;
I'm glad our meetings never came,
so I could cry in bed alone.

I'm glad our worlds were not the same;
I'm glad we  had our different zones;
Of time and space; of heart and mind—
of suffering—all which is my own.

For if we met, and found each other
Mapped every corner, bend, and contour,
I'd find I'd regret the day that I met you,
since seeing you would've hurt me more.
Alive Again Oct 2020
I forget how it felt to hold you.
What it meant to have you.
So foreign, it couldn't have
been me that experienced that.

I've loved since then, but our
touch, that kind of touch.
I haven't had that in years
and I won't ever have it again.

And I've been fine with that.
I left.
But you haunt me sometimes,
not often, but enough to warn me.

How unlikely is it that...
that
was... it?
That you were it?

Because it feels likely.
There was a moment in
time when you meant
everything to me.

Is it so unlikely that
there is a timeline
where it worked out?
I guess it's more that

the touch I get from
just anyone is bland.
And to never get to
form a relationship

again. From where I'm
standing, numb,
memories of
what that

kind of
commitment
feels like,
erased.

Maybe
that's
it
for me.
Alive Again Oct 2020
Stagnant, though I've made all this progress.
Recently thinking makes it hurt more,
but for a moment today
I really put the pieces together.

This painful youth, there was a fire raging inside
and it hurt and it made my heart race.
Today I tried to pick up where I left off

and

and?

and I watched it crumble in my hands?

Confused, I took a hard look, and that fire had gone out.
Disbelief.
His name still rings in my mind infrequently, all on its own.
Those sweet memories still in striking detail, I reach for them.
A moment of reunion, a moment.
And you feel stupid for never realizing you'd miss that time,

that you.

And, you know, I've never been closer to all that I've worked for.
And I couldn't care less, I've never felt more empty.
I'm so alone and it'll be a long long time before I ever feel something like that again. If I ever do.
I didn't need to love him to feel that kind of shame.
Every investment I made in my new freedom this summer made me creep back inside myself, slowly, until drinking and dressing up became a new trauma.

The fire was something to live for,
now I just feel like a rectangle.
kier Oct 2020
I saw my former self through a teary vision
As she collapsed against the rough alley floor
knees scraped, burning and bleeding with pain
Why didn’t they pick her up and care for her?
Always telling her to stop crying.
As if she wasn't a child, aching to be loved.
your love to me has always been ***** and unwanted. a part of me hates you, a part of me doesn't.
Rosie Toes Sep 2020
I'm lazy
but only when I shouldn't be.
Why is the idea of running errands so paralyzing?
I pick and choose my battles
but most of the time, I choose wrong.
I get scared easily.
I lack courage, I lack strength.
I dwell
constantly, continuously, painfully dwelling on everything.
I can never muster up the courage to look at my reflection.
I love to poke and tease, playfully,
but it shatters my core when it is directed at me.
I'm an overthinker, but I will react without thinking.
I am sad often, when I don't have a right to be.
I forget sometimes, "each day is for the making"
and I drink too much coffee.
The hardest goodbye always go slow.
It’s Painful to say goodbye to someone you don’t want to let go.
Painful Painful Painful.
The most Painful goodbye’s are the ones that we never expected.
I know we will always stay connected.


Its hard to forget those people who gave you so much to remember.
The best memories.
The memories are still here, but the person is already gone.
Only memories will last forever.


The worst part is when the things you worry about happens.
The happy ending i’m thinking about, became a sad ending.
No matter what happens I will still love you.
Norbert Tasev Sep 2020
And when one sins a little and falls into sin: He gurgles chocolates down his throat with unauthorized methods, giving one-person cakes the ultimate honor of such sublime and sublime passions as being in love! To become one: Flour, water, eggs with an immortal yet metaphorically changing dough body, mouth-watering, bohemian distillates, can be created for rebirth! - One can and feels conceived, the subtle, superstitious details do not yet form - only at the cost of hard work -


the whole and thus the re-created Universe is sanctified: A bite of only tastes, smells, and thoughts - a redeeming noble task: To rename people into unity, a common wavelength, if possible!

In the rumen of abundance in the furnace, on the wedding bed of flame-caves, the flame gave birth to millions: diligent yeasts again, they could recreate even man-made dough. How many uplifting and special miracles does it hold, and how many more can the waiting, the well-deserved fruit of our patience, unfold?

And how the dough shape fills and swells: it resembles the condition of blessed mothers, while its waistline increases in a curved curvature, and it is exciting, as if only the Sun was caressing. You see, there will be plenty of good, and the dated universe will be carefully highlighted, with due maternal tact; be careful not to crack your existing cartilage,

and they are dressed in a heavenly garment of sifting powdered sugar, which is falling like snow, and it sweetens as many tiny ***** of true pearls as the sieve sifts! "We're still waiting with a scurrying worried stomach." In the attic of our mouth, in the meantime, the charm and the fried bride were served directly to our table!
itsgettingdark Sep 2020
It never occurred that in order to live one will have to
preserve one's pain
That smiling may come at the cost of repaying its debts
(。•́︿•̀。)
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