In an attempt to walk the path I had
Beaten bone dry with the
Soles of the sneakers I wore for years 
And years
I was stopped by
Overgrowth and foliage

It used to be mine
But time had claimed it for herself
In an attempt to put me in my place
Daring me to not relish in what
Used to make me who I am

In fighting my way through
The bushes and leaves, I was
Forced to surrender to the
Simple fact:
I have changed.

I stopped living on that
Dirt ground
And sitting on those four rocks
That divided your house and mine
To catch my breath
And decide my next move

The downcast shadows of the trees
Recanted to me the stories of
My former jubilation
And versed me in the
Games I had missed

I traced the stars with my cigarette
To find the meaning they'd hid from me
Since birth dropped me on this rock
To learn all they had to teach

I thought I knew when I
Jumped the puddles in the road
And the cracks in the sidewalk
To avoid broken
 backs and
Accidental swims

Exhaustion on my heels
I began my ascent to the
Canopy, holding the answer to my
Long-drawn inquisition.
Discovery drove me to this new creed:
I am stronger than my scars
Give me credit for.

I understood my dryness in a 
Fit of introspection and
Cold sweats and
Warm shivers,
My sobriety, my closest familiar

So I buttoned down the boxes that
Help me get to sleep
And said a few words about the friend
I used to keep at the
Edge of those woods
Back when growing up seemed easy
And nothing seemed too hard

If you're keeping watch,
then I'll trade you shifts now.
I've been awake for hours. Almost light out.
Sleep is the distant, departed pal who
                                   never comes around.
'Cuz I've got a skull
that's filled up with dead ends,
false starts and last tries and lost friends.
I'll be awake so I guess it's useless
                                    standing guard for me.

Who's standing guard for me?

Ran out of cards to play.
Folded at the table
          this apartment stays small.
The ceiling's falling in
                                              again;
all that I can say is that
           it's alright
   though these nights
       will close tight
'round my neck, it's what I'm expecting these days.


When you change your mind,
you know where to find me:
locked up inside or on dim streets,
out after drinks and sifting through memories
                                   I just can't let go.
The sounds of the night
are drowned out by your voice--
--circles my head like halos of streetlights
outside the liquor store on the corner
                                    where they know my name.

Just don't forget my name.

Game's up, my hand is laid.
Folded at the table
          this neighborhood stays small.
Sidewalks' destinations
                                              are the
same. All I can say is that:
           it's alright
    though these nights
        will close tight
'round my neck, it's all I know anyway.

What is being honest?
When the ones you love are hurt?
You try to be transparent, but you're messy from all the dirt.

A Constant battle of head and heart.
Some things that cross the line.
You conjure up feelings you never knew existed
For Want of something that  never will be mine?

The definition eludes me the more I try to
Deflect,
The emotions that surround me from the moment we met.
Ambition is one thing, as success is another,
Turning new leaves,
with nothing left to uncover.
To live freely without love or be loved with a whole heart.
The grass is never greener when we go back to the start.
Be honest to yourself, to your woman or your man.
If you don't be strong now
prepare to be a part of someone else's plan.

I may seem hard
From far outside guard
Just thought me inside
And my softest soul will abide
But
With only one uncareful touch
Means so much
Takes no doubt
I could be broken *inside & out

Go home
Go home they said
As if it were a punishment
*Home is where id like to be
Home is where my heart finds me

Look! disappeared one
that can't be found in the world
I find in the heart

It's just a little checkup
To make sure my blood's still red
Not black
Or even gone altogether

It's just a little checkup
To make sure I'm more alive
On the outside
Than on the inside

The nighttime never bothered her
It went hand in hand with solitude
When solitude was a friend.

Cold breezes
   Dewey feet
     Star-filled eyes

The nighttime never bothered her
Until the magic was snuffed out
With one lustful shout.

Frigid winds
  Numb feet
    Lifeless eyes.

There’s a copper covered floor
     swept in by father’s hand.

And a sweet scent dwelling in the thick air
     of mother’s sigh.

Streams leak into the sills
     upon my face.

And a blindfold
     drapes the *****.

A mesmerizing buzz
     echoes within.

And irrationality
     fills my presence.