I'm devastated
That you were just an excuse
I was used
As were you
I always knew you were never real
We were just two girls, playing pretend
Sending loveless souls
Across the code
But I loved you
In some perverted way, I loved you
You ****** me up
And by that I mean
I ****** me up
You were my image
My northern star
When you were gone
I was willfully lost
Decided it was time
To destroy it all
We played our game
For far too long
Letting go was a relief
An excuse to be
The ****** up kid
I'd always dreamed of
Back when my dreams weren't nightmares
And my nightmare wasn't my reality
It wouldn't be fair to say you broke me
You didn't
You chose me
Just as I chose you
My perfect self destruction
And like him later on
We were a force together
We tore holes together
We were the people
You don't write home about together
In the end
We were just kids
I can't say I regret this
I don't know what to say
Except that I meant it
There was a piece of paper that I had, it probably got recycled back when my room was purged in January. It had a border of highlighter flowers. I showed it to my two friends at school and they knew it was about you.
I wonder what it said. I don't remember anymore.
--
I wrote this with meaning and feeling, but now they're just empty words, just like these will be. I wish it wasn't like this.
