If you wanna be sad it's okay
Be sad.

2.
If you think you can, block him.
Delete his messages and his number,
and his emails.
Delete his poems if you can't delete his thoughts.
You will get to that. (If you want to. It's fine if you don't.)

3.
You think you're happy one moment- exuding joy, energy, ecstasy-
and melancholy the other. You feel you're fluctuating between two shifts
I want to tell you that's okay. It happens. Breathe.
Let it be.

4.
You show me your arms that are tightening with some sort of feeling you're abiding, your feet hurt
You can't name this, words don't get it, I know.
I know we can't know. I know it's Real, though. It is.
We are in it together. It goes away. That's what they all say.
I am believing in it and I hope you can too.

Happy New Year.

Kung ikaw ay bulalakaw sa kalagitnaan ng daigdig. Wari'y ipikit ang mga matang nagsisimbolong liwanag sa aking paningin na sana'y marinig ko rin ang mga katagang mahal kita galing sa iyong bibig. Na sana balang araw ay darating yung araw na maging tayo magpawalang hanggan walang iwanan.

10
I'm running the streets looking for you
9
You can't leave me behind
8
You said forever
7
Remember talking about the apartment in the city?
6
Why can't I find you?
5
It's almost time
4
Please stop running away
3
It will be different I swear, I'll try to get better
2
You can't just abandon me like this
1
*Happy New Year

I held out my hand to you and said

"lets leave behind everything we no longer need as we enter the New Year"

You looked at me, smiled, then walked away




"Oh"

I hope
you remember yourself
well-enough tonight.
Because we all know
how fireworks are proud,
and loud and glittery
while sadness is illuminating
at its own sky,
somewhere in the
year-long night
living inside you.

This is
the last 3 a.m
of 2015*

2014 - 3 a.m
laying in bed
next to a man
who claimed to love me
and lied.

2013 - 3 a.m
laying my head
on the cold tombstone
of the man
who was supposed to be there
all my life.

2010 - 3 a.m
laying my mom's head
onto the pillow
because she was too drunk
to do it herself
and daddy didn't come home.

2009 - 3 a.m
finding a bullet
full of lead
and wondering if that
was the reason
the yelling had stopped
in my parent's bedroom.

2007 - 3 a.m
sleeping well fed
in a warm and comfy bed
as my parents kissed in the living room
and they were happy
and so was I.

2015 - 3 a.m
downing the meds
the doctor prescribed
to numb away the pain
- but, surprise
it didn't succeed
cause just as well
I can't stand to breathe.

*This is
the last
3 a.m

There's an end to every year
Well this is it for you,
Everyday has been another,
Not to complain of.
Trust me,
Y*ou have taught me lessons.

Farewell I say,but to forget you
Isn't the plan
For me,I'd rather keep you,
Then look back at you for some
Experienced lessons,
Exciting it is to progress,happy
N*ew year!

The literati are moaning
about the crowning
of a comical smiley-face
with tears of joy
springing from its eyes
as Oxford Dictionaries 2015
"Word of the Year"

it's historic
indicative of a generation
raised on media shorthand
though some people think
the distillation of thought
to acronyms, symbols, emoji
is a bad thing too

but in these icons
heavy black heart
face throwing a kiss
reversed hand with ******* extended
even the simple : )
I see emotion
stripped bare

the whole gorgeous
heart-rending, horrible
hateful range of it
illustrating the dark
and light
of who we are
as a human race

So I say hail and welcome
to the "tears of joy" emoji
may his vivid counterpoint
shine around the world
eclipsing all the words
we've learned this year
for hate.

Once again it's a new year where we become the writer of the book of our lives,
and this time there are 366 blank pages to write in when each and every day arrives.

This is the year that you finally focus on just you -
and concentrate on things that make you euphoric too.
Make your dreams and chase them with passion;
realise you have the power to make them happen.

The stars will align in the sky for you my dear,
and your courage will see you through any fear,
you will be stronger and more carefree,
and be the you that you deserve to be.