a new year,
another year of spontaneity,
of death and life,
of **** ups and downs,
of happy gatherings out in the night,
or in the fire lit room,
or on the curb,
or in the rubble of a bombed city block.
once you purge the truth it's hard to look away,
in an age of information at the fingertips of humanity,
it's insulting not to know anything,
is that why everyone's so angry?
greedy?
hopefully the new year is a another year for
mankind,
and not just man.
for humankind,
and not just humans.

It's darker than usual behind these eyelids tonight
There's a burning sensation behind every blink
And a heartache of loss with every beat

You used to tell me happy new year
Greet me with enthusiasm not even I had
And say goodbye to a year of great memories

But this time you didn't

There was no text with hidden glee
I won't get a greeting with a smile
Or a goodbye to the worst year of our life

Instead you said goodbye to me

You said goodbye to everything

And in your words you left or shattered hearts,
And a bowl of unintentionally broken promises

cheers to
the new open doors
the start overs
and the forgiveness
we will be facing
as we dance along
the beautiful storm
with music inside us

I'm afraid of the new year
I'm not afraid of what it will bring
I'm afraid of what the old year will leave behind
Confetti made from pictures of you and I covers the street.
People always say new year, new me but what if I don't want to be new?
What if I'm afraid of what being new means?

Remember last New Years Eve?

We had plans to go to my aunts house,
then last minute you decided that you didn't want to go. You decided that you wanted to throw a party, not at our apartment, but at your fathers house. I thought this was strange, but I agreed to ditch out on my family, for you. You left early to prepare for this party; told me to meet you there later, but when I showed up at your door, you turned me away. I was dumb founded. You told me that it just wasn't the kind of party that I'd be into. What does that even mean? I should specify though, you didn't actually answer the door && tell me to leave. You were never man enough for such a thing. You texted me. I was standing outside of your door, && you texted me && told me to leave. So I did. What was I supposed to do at that point, beg to be let into a place where I was clearly unwelcome? I walked back to my car, in my sequined party dress. I drove back to our apartment. We had one of those text fights we always had; the kind where I asked you why you had done something unkind to me, && you flipped it so that by the end of the conversation I was apologizing to you && begging for forgiveness. I sat there in the dark, in the apartment, for the remainder of the night. I cried myself to sleep.

Fast forward to this year. You have the audacity to contact me, asking if I miss you. What I miss is the person I was before I knew the likes of you.

Here's to a new year, untainted by your touch.

Life can be pretty ****** at times and it's okay.
We will live it.