Feeling empty inside
Silent raw hollow cries vibrate
Heavy a weight but wait as a
voice from within sighs
Uprising begins to follow on strong
Bones turn to dust
Metal will rust
What do you hold at the end
of your day
If only a name

I'm starting to question
What is family?
What does that word really mean?
Thought I knew the definition
Contradicting what evidence I've seen

As kids are told that our parents have the answers
Zero reason to believe otherwise
We trust, obey, and rely on them
They nurture us with lies

Like "We do not have a favorite child"
"We love you and your brother the same"
You'd rank two different colors equally
As long as sharing a similar name?

The words, stories, and advice passed along
From elders through the years
Vague clique anecdotes
To pacify our fears

But we cannot be anything we want
We aren't perfect just the way we are
Wish my mother had warned me
Some goals are just too far

We try hard to make them proud
Opinions matter so much
You grow up and realize
Flawed they are so you lose touch

Honor mother and father
Commandment known to all
Guess the Bible's author never shared his
With pills or a bottle of alcohol

Blood thicker than water?
Sayings a joke to me
Thinner than sheets of paper
About the same transparency

Family above everything
I dont think that's fair
Sick of putting people first
When they don't seem to care

Relatives are supposed to lend a hand
Express unjudgmental support
Every time I need help from them
Always somehow come up short

Hastily taking others sides
No matter what arguments about
Assuming I must be totally wrong
They refuse to hear me out

Unconditional love I will always have
That doesn't equal unconditional respect
Don't extend the same courtesy to me
What do they expect?

I have friends treat me better
Than own relatives
Who don't hold over my head
Favors or gifts she/he gives

My parents jealous of my boyfriend
They refuse to understand
I always put him first
Against them take stand

Maybe because he strives every day
Does all he can just to see me smile
Isn't perfect
But when it counts,
He will go the extra mile

They do not care about my happiness
In fact
The last thing on their list
Just want to control me
Push away but they persist

My brother thinks he is superior
Lecturing how I should live the right way
Disagree with a few of his own life choices
The difference is I don't say

I will always be there for them when I can
Even though they aren't always there for me
Mom and Dad sure set great examples
Examples of what NOT to be

Family is a meaningless word
I learned that long ago
Just because someone created your life
Does not mean to them your life you owe

I know they love me as I love them
It's difficult to see
The messed up **** they do
Is because they care for me

But the word "family" lost meaning
The older (and wiser) I became
Now only really matters
When referring to last name

Drown me in acrylics
So I may become art,
Abstract at best;

And write my hidden name in charcoal
A hundred times upon my skin
So I won't forget.

Tome stones of wood
           honouring those
who used to gaze upon
the beauty before them,

     sitting in reflection.

A tiny plaque with
      a name respecting
he loss.

Now others
    sit in respect of the
          one sat here before.

Gazing into the surroundings,
                deep in thought,
of a world passing them by.

I need you to call my name.

I want to hear it escape your throat.

You know my name. It is the one
that sounds like the stabbing of
steel shovels into sodden soil.

It is the one you addressed
on all those notes and letters.

Say it. Say it now.
Cry my name.

You will say it, even if
it spills from your teeth
and stains your ******* skin.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

your name is a silent word on my lips
because i'll never call you
after all the times i've lived
through the same thing before you

your name is the softest thing
that i have ever heard
oh, how i wish it wouldn't
make my heart hurt

You see, during my exams the only words I wrote
Is your name, etching onto paper
Like it did on my mind

I would have probably failed
Only after telling the examiner
Of you