oppression reigns
from above
unseen hellfire
a fallacy
can't be seen
so it is not there?

oppression exudes
from the ground
translucent, sticky
rise up and fight!
but always stuck
sinking down while
the tar fills open mouths

oppression is ingrained
in hearts blinded
by the masses
******* the lifeblood
from freely flowing veins

oppression is a paradox
making everything
too simple, too complex
too small, too big
too easy, too hard
closing in on both sides
follow the light
at the end of expression
lest you be crushed

To join something that unites
A brother and sisterhood
Together for eight grueling weeks
Learning to work together
To fight side by side
Gain the experience
That can save each others life

At first we felt and seemed hopeless
Homesick and lost
Feeling all alone
Days went on
Days turned into weeks
Finally like a light switch
Everything started to make sense

We came together as a division
We came together as a ship
We came together at the command

We can begin to understand
The meaning behind being a United States Sailor
Ready to go to war
Ready to make peace
Ready to save lives

What our forefathers taught us
Fought and died for
We are proud to serve
This great nation
The United States of America

I live a simple life
No adventure for me
I live a simple life
No stress all carefree

He lives a wild life
Full of danger and doubt
He lives a wild life
Full of gun fire and shouts

I lived a simple life
And I died with regrets
He lived a wild life
And died a hero, a vet

Don't go off to war yet, love,
     for we have war within ourselves,
     it seems you've been dodging bullets
     you, yourself, shot.

And tonight you will lie,
     "peacefully," you lied,
     and as you wake with bloodshot eyes,
     I realize I lost you before you came.

And when it's time for you to go,
     I find you already gone,
     before you walk out the door,
     saying goodbye, a promise replacing forever.

Which I believe is
     the wrong promise to keep;
     for your words are fickle
     and so does your love it seems.

Oppressive winds carried among the nightfall sky
aloneness dried the atmosphere
infection slips in windows
romantic thinking numbers sleep time
Henry vanished before military return
his satchel keeping love letters
photographs that presented wounds
but his march was a necessity
Power from simple handguns land on mission's soil
tunnels presented dead grunts from the high rising fire
a week after his love brought her life

Children often remember Kelley
killing stress with magazines, empty men and brandy shots
her ******* pounded for days
but her heart was fatigue
that cross patted her neck which carried black mysteries
lips that presented silence
a beloved brown made up new most days

Guys often kissed her squeezing out security
dangerous men fancied her
some laughed like they understood
said they would fill their hats of other "working" women making new found glory through washed up love

She said my handgun holds power presented at my feet:
one shot to feel the dead
that shot remembered every night before bed

Why I Lay Awake at Night

Some people lay in their beds unable to sleep,
unable to dream, or not wanting to.
They each have their own reasons not to enter the nights embrace,
Whether it is the future or the past.
I find myself with a foot in both camps, fearing the past and future,
As my mind decides which nightmare is to come on a nightly basis.

Should I remember the looks on my family’s faces, the rage inside,
When I looked into my cousin’s coffin, the victim of a cold-blooded ******.
The face of his murderer and the image of the acceptance letter to West Point,
The kind Lieutenant Colonel or the Deacon who presided over Requiem.
These all haunt me at night,
The images of a time past and great loss.

Should I be tortured with other images instead,
Those of my uncle or brother or a different cousin, all in the Air Force.
I cannot help but think of what may happen,
Of the horrors of war and loss.
I live in fear of the letter bearing the seal of the Air Force,
of the phone call from my mother or the two officers at the door.

Finally, there is my grandfather, who served in the U-boats,
One who never showed fear, at least to me, reduced to a frail old man in his last months.
A once proud, strong man, a father of 3 daughters,
A fighter, a survivor of untold horrors from the forties.
I build him the box in which he now resides,
And I see him before me when sleep does not come.

There are few things that can haunt someone like death,
Or death yet to come.
There is no reprieve from this constant torture,
The fear, the agony, the sadness, except death itself.
These gruesome specters, of Christmas Past and Christmas Future,
They, are Why I Lay Awake at Night.

I put on my old boots today
In the leather the sands of the desert ground in deep
I close my eyes and sigh as the taste
Brings back memories I'd rather not keep

Gunmetal black across my back
The crash of thunder, so I thought
But when the sky did not turn black
And weep with the tears that the thunder had wrought

And the sirens screamed
And they still invade dreams
And I fell to my knees
As I watched my friend bleed
On the scorching concrete

I became someone else
My family saw right away
But I've never told them
What happened that day

I keep it locked in
A payment for past sins
As I try to begin
Feeling normal again
But who knows when

Or if

Or how

To forget

In eighty four,
when I was eighteen.
I joined the Navy,
so proud and so lean.

First day aboard,
my ship I laid footed.
An accident happened,
this guy was beheaded.

I witnessed it all,
a faint scream, now gone.
Blood everywhere,
I was shocked in stone.

Life is but different,
floating on the sea.
But darkness still lurks,
coming out of the deep.

They called it traditions,
it brought back my past.
The name callings, the torture,
How long will it last?

Hours turns days,
days into years.
Counting my time,
holding back tears.

We had risen the Shield,
another accident happened,
lost twenty one shipmates,
Never forgotten.

At one in the 'morn,
the ferry went down.
In the Bay of Haifa,
twenty one did drown.

They finally came home,
in a flag draped box,
Hearing taps on corner,
Home but not lost.

My demons continue,
to many deaf ear,
bring sadness and sorrow,
bring heartache and tears

One final vision,
that I can not erase.
my friend screamed horror
and the look on his face

The wheel of an aircraft,
rolled over his femur,
crushing and smashing,
Lost in a fever.

Blood and bones,
I'll never forget.
His piercing screams,
still gets me upset.

Twenty long years,
I lived on the sea.
Lost many great men
and their pain is still with me.

Onto my next step,
But what do I do?
These demons keep chasing me,
Can I **** them off too?

radio playing, laughter transforms
into screams, metal crunching and
closing in, a flash of red hair,
or is it blood

the smell of dirt and smoke,
hands pull me from the wreckage,
covered in crimson water that
is not my own

            searching eyes and choked shrieks,
            where are they, where are-

face-down, still, twisted into
unnatural positions, unconscious,
the deafening screams are my
own, falling to my knees

helpless, seeing red but not in
anger, somewhere an ambulance
arrives, parents and bystanders
watch with unwavering fear

            they scream for their mother, and
            she is not breathing anymore-

uncontrollable shaking, a breath is
finally taken, but the battle is not won,
rushing, bright lights, tears and mud
staining my cheeks

she can only see shadows, his neck
is broken, another scream, a phone goes
off in the next room, a man in uniform
takes my hand and doesn't let go