There it was..
That heightened adventure that looked so bittersweet with all its bliss that I only had the opportunity to witness.
So, how would it be to actually feel it?
There it was..
Calling my name like a Siren,
Telling me to test the waters,
Convincing me that it's not too cold.
And She was right,
It wasn't cold.

It hit me,
Like the chemical reaction of a lit fire ******* about to pop off and explode into a million tiny pieces.
It hit me,
Like a dream.
I couldn't move but I could see and feel everything around me.
Every fiber of my body tingling with electricity,
With life.
I can do anything.
I am Alice in her Wonderland,
Exploring another dimension other than my known reality.

Dripping, so much drip.
I can feel my heart begging for more with each sulfur liquid that slides down my throat.
I can feel my mind exploding, taking Her in like somehow She belonged there.
My muscles clench, chills circle my legs and make peace on my arms where they claim their seat on this joy ride to insanity.
She has made me Her home,
And I welcomed Her,
a stranger,
to do with me as She pleases.

An hour, maybe 2?
She is drifting, like a ship sailing away to sea.
"Don't let me leave"
I hear Her whisper.
She is fading, fading too far out of reach.
"Stay with me"
She pleads, but I can barely hear her now.

I can't let Her go.

Up! Up is where I find Her.
I feel Her coming,
Running back into my veins.
Into my heart she crawls.
I can hear Her now, calling my mind to join this facade She has impressively created.
Not calling, but screaming.
Screaming so loud that I can't help but give in to Her game.
I'm rolling.
Rolling like a ball thrown down and endless street with no destination, no obligation to stop.

"I belong here"
She screams, grabbing ahold of my soul and intertwining Her fingers with mine like I am Hers for the taking.
(I am Hers..)

Lights invade my eyes.
Bright colors like the 4th of July.
I feel like I am falling.
(Am I falling?)
Numbness wraps around me, grabbing at my legs and knocking me down.
I'm being thrown in and out between realization and this fantasy but in that realization I see that it is Her.
She is taking hold of my chest, my mind.
I can't think about anything but this euphoria I am stuck in.
Standing on my legs so I can not move She hisses
"I have you"
If I let her I can die.
(Should I let her?)
An overdose and I am its host.
Her hands close around my throat.
(Do I dare let Her squeeze harder?)
I push, push through this trip I am so willingly taking and in response She screams in pain.
"Come with me"
I hear Her say and I stand telling myself I am okay.
I will not die today.
I will not die today.
Molly will not have Her way.