writing a poem is hard when your soul contradicts the rest of you.
i say i love this woman and mean it,
and fear grips me, puts its finger on my lips,
and shushes me. tells me that neither of us
is ready, that i don’t know my own thoughts,
hopes, dreams, wants, needs, and their reflection
in the mirror of her stark blue eyes and soul.
that it’s all an imagining beyond my own soul
and comprehension, that i’m projecting
a long lost sense of helplessness and courage
onto her without consent because i seek
acceptances and intimacies beyond my worth.
and still, knuckle-deep in this hard, scathing noise is a truth i refuse to ignore.
i am hers in my entirety and only want to know
that she is mine— my soul contradicts
the rest of me but i faithfully **** it
and aim for the future i’ve hoped lives
in both of us.

you'd lie on my lap
with nothing much to say
and there i'd bend
to meet your wandering gaze...
the rain, however light,
would feign tears on your face
tears i'd pretend
betrayed a sense of elation--
had they been yours
i would've cried just the same.

surely, i say,
that day's a purple aster
in my garden patch of greys,
a haughty little lamppost
along an awry little highway...

that day was
(and i'd say it again,
without thinking about lifting
the spout tipping my pen)
a lovely day, a ten outta ten

These scars are my momentos
Kiss every inch to my toes
Drain my sorrow with your love
Be my dark desire my love

Alone, with nowhere wondering

When back in Hawaii, I feel it better with you.
North of the Eggs 'n things where I puked.
The grass could be so darndest. Smiling only to attract the bugs.
Just because & only then...Could you smile.
The leaves smacking air into my lungs or was it the hybrid, that lept with such oomph.
Looking at my shoelace until It's been a while.
Cig running ruin into brain, counting looks at your hand.
& I, without a plan.
Sometimes you spoke.
Of dreams rampant, organs bearable in confusion.
I only wanted to say hello.
Standing on the stern, peering out over harbor.
Getting closer even though You knew.
Through trees, peering into your eyes & much colors that never threw...concern.
Just Closed.
& fine.
As if the the view of you At North shore anew.
Never arrived

Garrett Johnson.

loving often feels like running hurdles
but it's endless; there is no specified finish line
you keep jumping hurdles
and you keep running

you brush aside fatigue
you brush aside pride
you burn the desire to quit

you don't stop running.
that's what love is:
running endless hurdles.

And as she turned her hair, and ran the marathon of
make-up on her face, she glanced at me. "Aren't you going
to say, I look lovely today," she asked me .

"No," I boldly responded.
Tears started to fill her eyes, but I chose my next
words wisely. Forbidding her eyes a reason to cry.

"The phrase you speak of, is just too simple for me to say.
And being simple, you are not. So if you were to ask me how
you look like today; then this is what I have to say...

You look like a desire so unreal to me,
The calmness of love blowing in word's wind,
The strength of beauty rushing over me like the sea,
The spell of which enchanted me to your heart,
The nostalgia of my very first love scar,
The laughter of joy, to my sadness you heal,
The weakness to my step's; by their Achilles heel,
The eternity to all my favourite sweet dreams,
The first kiss of my morning, and the last of my night,
The end tunnel of light, never lost to my sight,
The shadow of pain, you're unashamed to show,
The willpower, and passion, not by actions performed,
The love of a lonely man, so possessive of it alone,
And all of that is not of today, but of everyday.

But if simple words are what you seek, let me put
your heart at peace. For these are the words you at first
wanted me to say. So for you my darling I'll tell you,
you look lovely today."

The fairies of colour
lovely might give you
the whole ball of wax.
With the algorithm on your side
but how long can one hold the water  
walking on a deep spinning earth?
Forever closing in never a perfect circle
there is a fine gap an unseen other side
maybe until the moon if ever
reaches out to the deep walking earth  
the pi creeps in the sun follows by!