I've been on the drugs,
Broken arms with the medicine,
Thrown in a hole I never dug,
They say the white walls are for my betterment.

They say it's for the pain,
Say it's for your head.
It must be on the outside,
Inside I feel dead.

Somebody pressed mute on the radio,
Now my volume dial's broke on the stereo.
Nobody hears me scream,
That I wish I could let go.
I wish I could grab ahold.

Looking in the mirror but I don't see me,
Just confusion and some emptiness,
Shakespearean with no remedy.
Woe is me, oh where is me?
I feel like I used to be a better me.

Now my volume dial's broke on the stereo.
Nobody hears me scream,
I wish I could let go.
I wish I could grab ahold

Another one down,
Another one drank.
Another time you tell me I'm fine.
Another time I wish I was.

I guess I'm not dead...

~

she is a flower moon
on a still summer night
filling the sky
surrounded
outnumbered
by an endless
ocean of stars
suspended in blackness
radiating wonder
her presence;
unlike any other
her light;
a perpetual glow
even without trying
even without knowing
you outshine them all.

~

warm summer nights
lost, intwined
under satin sheets  
a midnight worship,
souls unraveled
night crawlers
telephone lovers
pale skin
eyes burning
bodies dancing
soft moans in my ear
the sweetest lullaby.
like a siren you call;
alluring
pulling me into
every dark corner
of your mind
and still;
even now
i hunger for only you.
i once believed
i had fallen hopelessly
in love with a memory
but i know that not true.
for i would rewind
the hands of time
and stay
that moment
forever
even in purgatory;
i shall kneel
by your throne.

Laying motionless on a riverbed,
Drowning at rock bottom constantly
I hate to admit it but
That's where you'll most commonly find me
No landmarks, no marked miles,
Got lost on the back roads to recovery
I finally pulled out of this nosedive of false certainty
Just to expectedly fall back into the same trajectory
Distractions follow closely,
Waiting to complicate the wrong actions I already make consistently
That's a disastrous recipe
That's what has made my present day a fraction of what I think it oughta be
This has to be far more than what I have coming to me
Like what I've repaid triggers karma's selective memory

©2024

Comedy and tragedy never seem to be distributed evenly
Not sure destiny would even recognize me
Nor I it honestly
But could it, would it, should it be able too avoid me deliberately?
Surely if I coulda, I woulda and probably shoulda taken it more seriously
I know this is my millionth apology,
That's not lost on me
I'm so sorry that I happen to be so sorry
If you could find it in your heart too forgive me
It'd be
Just another thing that I envy
Endlessly
For all of eternity

©2024

Carelessly we danced,
    Then, the lights went out.
All I could see were your eyes,
staring back at me,
and it meant something;
Possibly?