I’m staggering and stumbling on air
climbing the clouds as I tear  

Because I can’t still see the rays of sunshine
And twinkling starlight in the night

I build hope with fragile beams of light
And sew them into my dreams

It’s constant blue stretching beyond my sight
And specks of white floating in these heights

But sky turns dark again and I shiver
And I soak again and cry and quiver

And I watch while the light fades
From my brittle dreams and false hope

And the clouds beneath me cracks open
And I fall through, tearing the layers of sky

I scream in the dark and my joints snap apart
And muscles tear and eardrums rip

And my shins split and knuckles wrench
I drown into seas and my broken body drenches

And I take breaths through my torn lungs
And try to move my severed bones

And my heart bear scars, all rusted and dried
and failing to beat one more time

And my dreams scatter on the clouds
I want to scream but my voice is gone

My whispers don’t carry through
And tears spill out my ebony eyes,

reflecting all shades of black
But not one beam of sunlight

I break down and let my mouth drop open
As if I could howl despite my slitted vocals cords

But only blood seeps through the blue
And I notice my gashes bleed

And streams of vermillion track around my arms
And neck, hands and legs. I’m all finished

And my veins burst and bloodstream erupts
And tendons break and numbness claims me

I’m gone because once I believed
I could build my dreams amidst the sky

The blue cradles me for I’m tired to stay up
And water gushes down my throat

And leaks into my lungs
And my insides suffocate

My last sight is sheer darkness
And only one star as it breaks away

And streaks across in silence
I smile and let go slowly

As the pain fades
And memories are left behind

I’m leaving here forever  
As moon smiles and draws my soul

And wraps me in shimmering moonlight
And stars show me my place

And I start my eternity as a dim glow
As a star that’ll never fade, never break

As a light that will never flicker
A glimmer, one amongst the thousand others

But I wish I could be a beam of sunlight
And reflect across the clouds

And maybe collect my dreams
And keep them forever.

Your back that is shining
It is you that i am chasing
To become like you, i am dreaming

How can someone from the past
Live in the present and can easily surpass
The me who you walked past

They kept comparing me to you
Saying how much better you were
And you dont even have a clue
How much it hurts, because its true

The fact that it is you
Is what hurts the most
Because you are the person
that i have lost

They kept comparing me to you
Saying how great you were

I am hurt
I am angry
For i am you
And you are me
But how is it that you are always greater than me?

They kept bringing up the past
Competitions won
Awards gotten
Honors received
A bright future ahead

But guess what?
Your future is my present!
The bright future they said is the moment I am living now
But it isn't as bright as they've hoped
Because at me no one bothers to look
Because at the me who was you, they always looked back

But hey cant you see
That person is still me
Please don't just look back
And please look at the current me
Accept the real me

You were bright
You were me
But now this is how i came to be
So please just...

Huhh....

Hollow
        as last hopes escape.
Numb
        as it sinks in.
Goodbye
          forever.

And while  I lay here in this warm bed. A bed that's drowned in many tears, I realize it's all coming back.
And I can't stop it this time.
I can't mutter a word not even to the guy whose suppose to be the love of my life.
I push my parents away and ignore friends who have always been there.
WHAT AM I DOING ANYMORE.
what if I cant do this anymore?

The rain drops are falling
For I'm still  here sleeping

You turned my world around
Just for it to be shattered

It's been three months since we talked
But it feels like a enterty

Maybe if you leave me be
I'll eventually be happy

Grand memories of places, scenes,
adventures carried out in distant landscapes.
Smiles so full of wanted kisses.
The body talking in a nervous language,
accent pronounced, gesturing wishes.
Watching as one sips a newer grape,
the old no longer worthy.
Teardrops forming puddles on pillows,
a stream of stories washed away.
All hellos, goodbyes, greetings unnecessary.
Uneasy replies to questions unwanted.
Truth too painful for innocent ears.
Hearing woes unbearable, seeing is enough.
What was once plenty has gone stale.
In the nights shadows, crawling amongst fallen leaves.

Frostbite fingertips, chilly they are,
Far more appealing than the faraway stars.
That's why my eyes turn to you during winter night,
Your frostbite fingertips, caressing my cheek are light.

Just as dreams are for dreamers, love is for lovers,
And that passionate feeling around us hovers.
Others doubt, but the stars above know,
When compared to our passion, dim is their glow.

Your fingertips, cold on this snowy night,
Rejuvenate me and emblazon my life with light.
If hypothermia were to claim me now,
I hope others wouldn't long ponder how.

I'll lose myself in you any day of the year,
Even during winter, you resolve my fear.

Speechless
thoughts inside my head
slowly killing me
creeping me out
memories came rushing
I'm shaking my head
forgetting everything
the pain and suffering
that doesn't end
how long before I realize
this was all but a daydream
you weren't for me
and I wasn't for you
tears came down
then I thought
I won't lose you

I'm shutting my thoughts

-J. L

Ladies and gentlemens have you every made the biggest mistake in your life? But listen up I made the biggest mistake,biggest mistake to think he would change but now I'm saying goodbye to all the memories that we had and I regret even trying to give him a chance,but I'm losing myself so I'm thinking I'll just live with what's left but boy please tell me why did you have to go and treat me like the ******* the side? And why did you have to go and make me cry? And boy please tell me why did you have to go and lie to me? And cause me pain? After I gave you my heart baby am I'm what you need? I know I did wrong to but not like that but I'm going to go out a leading lady how my mom raised me cause boy you could of told me or you could've walked away and I've would had understand but now I don't care I wish I never let you in my life and if I could I would forget about you and Leave you as a mystery but y'all I don't care any more oh oh no I'm lying,lying that's why he not here,that's why he not here cause he knows I still care, he knows I still care that's why he don't care no no he don't.

     Have to keep our heads up even through the worst it will get better even when it hurts the most.