Invisibility;

it need not mean
to not physically be seen,
for eyes look on,
taking in the
loneliness
I don;

crowds and rooms
bursting loud with tunes,
faces happily grimacing,
I am grimacing back,
revelry I am feigning,
as on spins the DJ track;

professional smile-maker,
the most experienced faker,
regarded by passerbyers,
they know nothing of my
insides                     on fire;

room crowded
and still alone,
optimism shrouded
by apathetic groan;

You
see
"me,"
but
you
don't
see
me;

Invisibility.

Perhaps
it was the way you drank your tea?
or how you smiled when you spoke
of the stars at night?
or why you cried every night at 10pm?

Perhaps
it was when you left?
or when you came back to me?
or was it when this was over?
and we lay on the fresh cut grass
spilled into each other?

Perhaps
it was when your granddad died?
or was it when you laughed and
told me you were happy?
or was it when you smoke?

Perhaps
it was when you told me you
loved me?
or when you told me you
hate me?
was it then?

Perhaps
it was all of these?
because they made you,
you?
but I don't want to be pushed away

So perhaps we can't go on,
it's for the best,
i promise you

So perhaps I'm sorry for the
late notice
but you didn't seem too
attached to me anyway

A lone wolf;
Solitary soldier.
Too comfortable you have become
stumbling down a path
for one.

Blinded by
eyes closed
to the world that truly lays
beyond
your chosen screen
of wool
woven, cross-stitched with
Denial.

Hands you refuse to hold
as you boldly
trek
down the dusty trail;
howling out silently
so no one may hear.

Sporting a
mask
made
of self-loathing
and fear,
vulnerability the
enemy you choose to slay,
for surrendering to
a state of
naked, raw
passion
seems more frightening
than the darkest dungeon,
stormiest night.

Gulping down
another shot
of loneliness on the rocks,
not even a splash
of soda,
for you like the way it burns.
Inhale solidarity,
snorting your
line
after
line
of
self-destruction,
acidic dispelling of
feelings
chosen not to be felt.

Sometimes, though,
in the quietest of the night,
sitting on the lip of a deep
substance-induced-slumber,
you may whisper
in a tone you would hate
to be called sweet,
and the mask comes off;

till 2 PM,
waking and at it again,
alone, a lone wolf
howls
at emotional
sobriety
and takes another
drink.

howling at the moon,
in the deep cold of the night.
the lone wolf lurks around,
expressing its only fright.

it cries out for company,
but all he gets
is the wind.

blood runs cold,
fur collects frost,
a hush falls onto his lips

this is the lone wolf's silencing,
and silence he shall keep.