There's something I really like
about driving at night.

There is a certain peacefulness
in the sound the tires on my Honda make
as they rub against the highway
at a steady 9 over the limit,
no traffic to hold me back.

I keep my windows partly cracked
even though my heat is on
because it's the only way I can be
warm but not too hot and
cool but not too cold.

I turn my music up as
loud as it can possibly go,
my mind swimming in the
lyrical metaphors
comparing love to water bodies
and getting lost in the waves.

I ripple down the road
as I drive past the river,
the stars twinkling across the
vast expanse of black.

Sometimes I have a destination in mind,
and other times I don't.
Sometimes I drive because I'm sad
and other times because I'm angry,
regardless I am sometimes crying, screaming,
and or heavily breathing.
I am always pondering,
I am always processing,
I am always gaining perspective,
and, by the end,
I am always at peace,
at least until that time I need to
take another twilight drive down by the Ohio.

Getting drunk at the bar
Knowing I won't be going far
Getting high off a line
Hoping for some godly sign

On this city Christmas Eve
I want to leave
But I can't move my feet
Can't face the street

Missing my man
Cursing him - ****
For being two years gone
In his life I was just a pawn

I would let anyone lie next to me
In the darkness I cannot see
I crave human touch
I don't ask for much...

Steps coming closer
With a much more clearer voice
Road seeming empty
With no end on other side
Still walking forward
With no one on the way
Crisp smiling lips
With a tear on the face
Long standing still
With nowhere to go
A lone walk never ends
With an end that you know . . .

'As toddlers we sat on that
timber floor, playing like wolves.
You tugged on my collar,
lifted my chin and made a promise
that we would be brothers
till death did you part.
But death didn’t do a part
in breaking up our pack.
Throughout the years you taught me
how to hunt and gather
my props, you taught me
how to front and swagger,
you wanted me to be at my best
before you left. But you never told me that
you had to leave.
Then when you started to stray, I tried to trail
your footprints, thinking that you were just
past that tree line waiting for me to catch up.
But the farther that I went, the farther
we grew a part. I can forgive you
for never giving me a warning
but those years that I fought
as a lone wolf still haunt me.

© Matthew Harlovic

I hide my pain behind my smile,
A mask build by the fairy tales I've read about with happy endings.
I sleep on a bed made of insomnia,
As I struggle to figure out who I am
And you ask me if I'm ok

I'm a captain, trying to stay afloat of a sea of sorrows,
Because the boat I built basiced on my trust of others
Has broken into a million pieces.
Many a Times have I had to break my arms,
To be able to pull the knife out of my back.
And you ask if I'm ok

I fill my mind with knowledge,
In order to block out the voices of my demons,
Whose whispers cut like swords,
The sharp tongue of one bend on tearing down everyone.
I fight wars with willpower and focus,
Against the monsters I see when I look in the mirror,
And you ask if I'm ok.

I search for a sliver light in the depths of my mind,
Only to find the spotlight of guilt,
Highlighting the errors in my path
The destruction, chaos and loss I've left behind,
And you ask if I'm ok.

I'm trapped behind a layer ice,
Made from the cold blood that runs through my veins,
As I slowly suffocate on the promises I broke.
Like a willow in the mist of a tornado
My soul feels like it is getting ripped straight from my chest,
And you ask if I'm ok.

You ask if I'm ok, yer I reply simply...yes.
Now it is your turn.
Are you ok?
Are you really ok?

The Air hung tremulous
Waiting with curious expectation
Her mind gliding with Tidepool Dreams
Waves caress the sand - playful.
Teasing.
She listens
To the song of the Sea
The laughing foam becoming giggling mist
The ***** seagull's cry with false grandeur
The weary Wind sighs with a breeze
And Her. In solitude.
Waiting,
*Waiting.

What’s this lonely soul to do
when the moon is such a great sight
and only my eyes are here to witness?

And how am I to feel when the distance becomes not the abyss that separates me and the moon
but the extensive vastness that separates you and I?

I want to explore the secrets of the world.
But I just can't do it alone, with you in my mind.

I just can't.