Watching as my wares are consumed
within this vessel carrying
              my world.
Checking as if I were
                 revising for that exam..

If I fail..

       My heart palpitating as beads
of sweat congregate upon every
      thought.
Dripping into pools of reality..

Wish I was there, locking my door I breath...

My heart’s in lockdown and
I can’t break free,
I wish I could feel something,
Wish I could be me.

I feel like I’m running in circles,
Striving for emotion,
When all I feel is numb
And sick of my devotion

To the voices in my head
Who keep telling me to quit,
“Why not just give up now,
There’s no way to fix it!”

But I know there’s something there,
In the deepest part of me,
Something that still wants to learn,
Love and move and breathe.

So I will spend some time today,
And love that part of me,
And lock down all the saddened parts and
Start to break free.

loving someone
is only giving them a door
giving them a door
a lock
a key
and a wrecking ball
they can choose to
destroy you
save you
protect you
they can do whatever they please
and in the end they leave
whether by
betrayal
forsaking
or death
they leave
and take a piece with them.

with promises of forever,
I touched the love locks,
lit up by city sights and ocean views,
metal hearts hung, with faded names.
I touched the locks to bring some luck,
touched them with the promise of us.
That lock long since broken,
falls pathetic to the ground,
empty promises spill forth,
but no one is around
to see it fall.
I looked for love and found it lacking,
and you left, got to packing,
leaving broken metal on the ground,
the last mark of love,
of us,
underneath the bridge of locks,
forgotten tributes of love.

I locked my lips
And threw away the key
So why is it
That you still can't put your trust in me?

Though you’re near me now
You seem so far
It’s like you locked your door.

While I understand
I wish you’d stay
Close to me right now.

And I know that soon
Perhaps someday
We could change the way some things are.

But we stand our ground
And disappear
Into the light of this bright full moon.