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jaden Dec 2020
there's a monster in my closet
he's been there as long as i've breathed
he has moved where ive moved and seen what i've seen
there is a monster in my closet that looks just like me
he moves how i move and sees what i see
J Dec 2020
In a class, I'll sit and listen
they'll explain that I have no rights
as a member of the LGBTQ+
they'll say,
with pride of their skin,
black lives DON'T matter-
all lives do.
I'll sit here, OH YES,
I'll sit and listen
they'll talk about girls being ugly
talking about how
there are only two genders
and I'll sit here
relating women to paintings,
weaving them into my poems,
slightly pouting and confused
with my lack of their said gender.
Sighing,
I will sit here and listen
as they repeat the things
I've heard my entire life
and I'll bite my tongue, though not really
a look will pass by, rage seeps through pores
I'll leak liquid anger
until the toxins correct their rotten brains
I know I should say something,
but there are tons of them
and only micro-me.
Weak.
I'll sit here, and I will listen to them as
we all eagerly await the bell
Save us.
we're far apart, so
my mask is off now,
but when it sounds, when it promises peace
RING RING RING
I will stand, turn,
and Black Lives Matter will be almost
as prominent as a tattoo on my face,
the phrase will melt,
it will stick,
it will attach to my mouth
and say
scream
sing
the words that I cannot.
and I'll keep Sydney's hoodie on
as my bulletproof vest,
her chain against my heart
understanding that
THIS IS NOT A CHOICE
Why would I
ever
choose the pain I went through for this?
only to go home,
and hear more from my step-father,
with the victimizing mother actings
as if it never happens
writing in my eighth-period class makes me worried for their eyes.
brynna Dec 2020
my heart is a half-painted wall

i said that i would finish it for her

they all say that love can conquer all

so why do i bawl at this unpainted wall?
an insanely old poem from an odd time
little lioness Nov 2020
It's nights like these that make feelings of regret creep out of the shadows,
they come in through the cracks in the walls and the space beneath the door and crawl into the crevices in my bones and the pockets of space in my heart that used to be filled by you.

I wrap myself in the words you used to say, reread the messages you used to write and surround myself with the gifts you used to send back when I thought I was special...
back when you made me feel special.

It's nights like these when I can't help but imagine how much warmer I would be if I was in your arms, how much easier I would sleep knowing that I'd be waking up to you: your smile, your jokes, your touch...

But instead of sleeping, my mind continues to replay the moments,
the days,
the weeks,
the weeks and the ******* the months that led to this point, my mind is stuck trying to decipher where things went wrong and trying to determine how we got here and trying to find a way to ask "can we go back?"



I want to go back.
Sydney Nov 2020
We have many things in common

I talk to you when i'm down

You understand me

And i hate myself for that

I can't help but fall for you

So here i am

Hoping that you feel the same

Why am i so stupid?

Why do i keep hoping?

When clearly

You're not into girls
Sydney Nov 2020
I love the way you understand me

I love the way you make me feel loved

But i know

I can never have you

You make me feel loved

But you can't love me

I know

I'm sorry for falling

Please don't hate me

But

This is the real me

I fall in love with the same ***

I'm attracted to girls

And i can say that

You're not just a girl

You have something that they don't have

You make me feel things i shouldn't feel

You often make my heart race

But these words are useless

You make me feel loved

But you can't love me

You're not into girls
Arya Night Nov 2020
I know you love me.
Though you might not know how to say it.
Your tongue tripping over the words,
Like stones tumbling into a river.
The sound lost in the space between us,
Like flowers petals caught is a strong wind.

I know it is easier to say that you don’t love
It flow from a mouth used to biting
Lashing out like a beach of shattered glass.
Pushing away any who get to close,
Better to never let them in,
Then risk getting hurt.

To your dismay though,
I got close.

I embraced your sharp words
Letting the glass roll off my skin.
Watching the sun dance across your beach.
Guiding the water to soften
Your stone edges.

Your dark eyes shine with self hatred
With each sharp word that flicks off your tongue and blasters against my skin.

A dark fear
You refuse to say aloud
That one day I’ll disappear
That you’ll finally hurt me
And I’ll see you clear

Still you say I’m better off without you,
That we are opposites.

You call me sweet,
Kindness drip off my tongue like honey.
You call call me love,
Because my heart has enough to give.
You call me life,
Because there is a spark inside me.

But we, my love, are a match set.
The water that tames the burning fire.
The bright stars that fill the night sky.
The extrovert’s adopted introvert.
The biter salt and the sweet sugar.

Though you might not alway know,
How to say it.
I know you love me.
And there’s no place I’d rather be
Than here.
This is from my personal experience dating someone who carries a lot of trauma and is demi-******.
Aspen Nov 2020
you write to me
about our kids and the hill we live on
you write to me
about the "honey, I'm home"s and soft loaves of homemade bread
about making soup as a family
about working from home living on the land
about swatting hands away from dinner until its ready
about eating outside in the light summer evening
picnic baskets soft glances as you do
homemade jam and uncut meadow filled lawns
and even though we haven't talked in weeks
I see it so clearly that I'm overwhelmed
tears of craving that
of wanting that
of wanting you  
I had forgotten how quickly I bend for you
gentle words about a tender life
I'm bending
so far, for you  

but you leave
long gone
too far to whisper your soft words
I will shatter
like I always do
break in half
even in two
id choose that
id choose life with you
Isn't that terrifying
Christian C Nov 2020
It seems a silly, foolish thing: obscure
abstracted expectations heeded sure.
However, comfort found or shred in thread,
defiance! Liberation for the dead
to overthrow, reject, deny decrees
imposed from fears that freedom means disease.
Because it chokes, barbed-wire laceration
began with shouts of divine damnation,
outpours a strangled, blood-laced river with
no end—laws unaware of gender’s myth.

To them, I am a thing one can acquire.
Behind eyes worn,  I tire— Oh! How I tire
of worth and value foisted most unjust.
Disgust conceals (reveals) clandestine lust;
they loved (and also often hated) me
for what I am and what I never will be.
I am the boy.
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