I refuse to be imprisoned by them;
Formed in a spring of meaning
And specificity;
Then gradually
Sculpted, sanded and smoothed
In the oppressive surf of banality.

Woman. Wife. Mother.
Genius. Fat. Beautiful.
Liberal. Conservative.

I won’t let them
Bend me at the waist
Bow my head
Contort my arms

Define me.

Instead I return to the spring

plunge in

dissolve


emerge



a mist.

I am the label,
The label isn't me

When a pop star dies people want to know who to blame
When a homeless person dies they are labelled insane

.


My ears still find their way
near mouths
who are likely to label me
as Beautiful,

Somehow
their opinion
makes it
more real;
believable,
I doubt my own sincerity
Am I not bound to be
partial
to myself?

Am I?
When half the time
I'm not myself
at all.

.

I can feel the oceans inside the skin under my eyes
I can feel the pain that tints my cheeks
I can feel the unsettling feeling of being lost
I can feel everything
but I understand nothing,
I feel lost
like I'm trapped under water
with a thin sheet of ice above me
and I'm trying to breathe
but it hurts
because my lungs are restricted by my blood
my roots making me sink even deeper
roots that have implanted me in the depths of the ocean
by faith
not by me
I kick with my feet and throw my weak fists in the bubbles created  by my deep breaths
and I try to scream but it echoes inside my lungs
its as if my body knows I'm already drowning
'there is no use', its as if it understands why no one should hear those screams
its like my body knows that I don't want to live in it
sometimes I feel like
when I kiss you
my hands tremble
and I sink deeper
I look into your eyes
I scream into my lungs
I should love you, why do I not love you?
why is my heart mistaken?
why am I still trapped under a label?
If I cant feel am I still human?

I started out simple... Flat, plan, and white...

The first few folds were easy... But it's finished form was far from the light

"What is it? What is it?" They constantly asked

I didn't answer them, because I wasn't even sure if I was going to be able to complete this task.

I folded, twisted, and bended the paper in many ways

And when I had to throw it away... I heard laughter of great dismay

Continuous fails... At creating a sensitve beast

Different structures brought different problems with every crease

Doubted, Slandered for even trying, over something fragile and small

What threat could this Paper Dragon be? Into the trash it falls...

Origami is window that makes the weak paper stand out as strong

Conflict built its wall, Tension rested its tent, is what I'm doing wrong?

Hands stiff from determinations curse... At last it was finished

Excited to reveal my plan for such a magestic beast.. But too soon that was diminished

Although it was white and pure, its appearence and identity was shamed

"Why a dragon? A symbol of Satan, A sign of distruction, Hell as a name?"

Can you stop seeing me and the things I create all a symbol of darkness within me?

You say I am what I create, and I can't say that you're wrong. So this is what I want you to see

I am that dragon... You think all my words are out to melt and burn

You think I am strong enough and big enough to take on your drowning waves you think I've earned

But I am a Paper Dragon... I look strong and fierce... But I can rip so easily

A simple motion of pulling me in different directions can bring the end of me

I run to you with my webbed wings spreaded across the sun burst sky

Greeting you with a firey smile, and a glowing warm heart... And yet I'm despised

A sword is impaled through all the scales you assumed were tough

They surrendered as easily as paper... And down I went...only wanting to be loved

I am Paper Dragon... I'm not dangerous... I'm not evil or bad!!!

I am of creation!!!  If I use my ferious fire on you, it is to protect me from you... Which is sad...

I have been Labeled... Along with the things I create

Isn't it amazing? This majestic paper king of the fire in the sky... Can't you relate?

You call it a demon... You call it a mimic and a mockery of purity and light

... I AM A PAPER DRAGON, BLACK AND WHITE WINGS SPREAD WIDE AND BRIGHT

... If you don't want the fire the Lord has gifted me with to melt your ice...

Then alright... But I won't allow your waves to soak me and wash away this life...

I'll be perched on a hight mountain top, looking over you and your waves from a far distance...

You wonder why I'm so far away...  Why you feel so much resistence...

My glowing charcoal eyes you can still see... You grow more confused and ticked!!!

All because... Of this Paper Dragon Conflict...