Trying to juggle at 1am,
Trying to catch those ******* *****,
Trying to throw them the"right way",
Trying to do everything everyone tells me,  
Everything that I can't do.

Thoughts swirling in my brain,
Fogging my concentration.
Self-doubt arising,
wondering why no one has called me a failure yet.
Questions screamed to the universe.

All this fuss,
Just for three juggling *****,
Three juggling ***** which I can't juggle,
Three juggling ***** leading to my accusation of a failure,
Three juggling ***** questioning my capacity.
All this for three juggling *****.

struggles occur,
often I'll juggle many
in attempt to avoid them
and pretend I'm empty;
nothing can hurt me!
but eventually I mess up
and break the tossing.
One struggle breaks
right after the other,
and in the end
I usually feel much better.