I'm never gonna be
As popular as you
As talented as you
And pretty as you

I've already
Acknowledged that
Accepted that

But that doesn't mean
It still doesn't hurt
That I'm not any less jealous

I'm just gonna roll with it
And try to be me

Whether people like that or not

I keep thinking of excellent titles
for stories I haven't written yet.
Does that still give them life?
Damnable muse!
rushing in unprepared.
you leave a graveyard of thoughts
for lack of pen and paper.
abrupt endings scattered about
in the back of old notebooks.
an endless stream of stutter steps,
of scratched out
phrases.
don't you know
the name should come last?
we've given existence to written down regret,
reason to rue my very first love.
what a Jealous thing you are.
to clip the wings of baby birds.
they were ours.

I am surrounded by people,
Yet I feel so alone.
I hear laughter
and I am so jealous of this.
For I long ago dismissed laughter
from escaping my mouth,
I've forgotten
how to be alive.
And I'm afraid that eventually
My heart will catch up to my dead thoughts
And stop beating blood through my veins.
Why do I fear death so much,
and still invite it to take my soul?

I learned something new about myself
I hate when boyfriends talk to their ex
The claws come out
I'm territorial.
Maybe because I'm short
Maybe because I have history with boys cheating
I hate these emotions
They control me
I will protect my territory
And *****,
I'll ******* up.

my heart is always hurting.
sadness consumes my thoughts.
im sick of seeing smiling people
who's minds are pure from demons.
they will always be stronger than i ever was
and i think thats why i can never smile
because i know that i'll never be good enough.

Writing this poem in the corner of this coffee shop
Two glass of grande-sized coffee
Frappuccino, Mochaccino
are just not enough I guess

Seeing you walking around the room
Talking, acting too beautifully to be remembered
Touching the girl I would never want to be
I am just who I am I suppose
I am just not like her I suppose

Putting your hands in the pocket of your dark blue Levi's jeans
Stepping up high through the sole of your light grey Van's sneakers
Laughing too much, talking too beautifully
Smiling too seductively, brushing your hair too manly

Am I just not enough for you, Darling?
I've been waiting for quite a whole month just to see you physically

Am I just not enough for you, Darling?
I've been waiting for you 'til my eyes flooded by my own tears

Am I just not enough for you, Darling?
**Am I just not enough for you, Darling?

The other day
I thought to myself
Maybe I am over you
Maybe I am holding on
To feelings that are no longer
Growing on their own

Today
I saw a picture
Of you and a woman
More well-known
Than you could ever dream of being

A week from now
She won't remember you
What you look like
What your voice sounds like
And she doesn't realize
Just how lucky she was
To even learn that today

In a few months
I will see you again
And I can do nothing
But hope
That you will touch me
In a way
That you will never touch her