One of the greatest feelings I have ever experienced
was the feeling of invisibility
I sat on the floor in front of the auditorium  
waiting for the class before me to be let out
just reading a book and listening to music
A few minutes passed
The class was released from their professors grip for then night
a swarm of kids left the room
I stayed on the floor reading
not being noticed
Alone
I watched from over the peripheral of my book at all the legs passing by  
No one noticed me
No one tripped over me
I was ignored  
I felt like I had stopped time
I felt like I'd mastered the art
of being invisible

this voice of mine was designed
to be written, not spoken
to be read, not heard

but we seem to live in a society where
to be seen, you have to be loud
and they say written words can't shout

and so I shall forever remain
invisible

but only to those
who keep their eyes closed

You look
You see
Right
Through
Me

I've let go
of hope
I have no sense of
Expectancy

Even my existence
Alone
Starts to falter
At the hands of time

A feeling
So empty
I've lost my senses
I've lost my mind

Sitting alone
In a cold dark room
Digging myself a deeper hole
Shattering my
Existence

Am I alive?
Am I real?
Not even a ghost
Could compare to how I feel

Not living
Nor the dead
You can't feel my presence
In the air

This is my never ending
Nightmare

I sit alone as if I am fading
Invisible in the ashen fields.
My heart longs to be somewhere
to where I see myself
Clear as the new day
True to oneself’s beauty
Away from the toxicity of people’s opinion
Or as far away from my own shadow of doubt.

I sit alone & not running anymore.
Losing strength as the wind passes by
Losing a bit of my edge in this unreasonable persona, I face.
Yet I never give a **** as long as I kept on going
Reaching for something Unreachable,
I can only hope…

I want to feel the life of someone’s at arm’s reach
to feel that I am alive
I missed you.

I'm alone
Lost in a world
Surrounded by presence
Yet I feel this absence
Thirsting for a home
Craving acceptance
Will there ever be a day
When my life isn't
Tormented
All I want
All I need
Is a foundation
Some security
Maybe then I will finally
be set free
Of my iniquities

Unfortunately the dust has built up on a letter i wrote to you filled with fear,
a transparent way of combining my fears and infatuation for you.
I expressed my fears in ink, but also in dust,
for i never felt worthy enough,
that letter was never sent.
Fear a word that describes what still overpowers the vibration of atoms formed into the image of me, never able to express, never able to breathe.
I have hidden behind a persona of intelligence and speaking with lack of emotions,
a persona i have used to cover up my deep insecurities.
Deep like the ocean blue,
Im drowning in my own ocean, metaphorically speaking my insecurities are the liquid in which forms around me,
and it has become a way of life.
To feel this way, is to not feel at all.
To live this way, is to not live at all.
My heart may beat, but for what purpose?
103 beats per minute, minutes.
It beats because of time.
Time is everything, and time with you is everything to me.