I cannot stop crying to say my life.
It's like it's on a schedule.
Crying in school, after school, in my car, at home, to my parents, to my teachers, to no one at all. For sometimes... hours.
I have officially become so broken that I've become pathetic. So I don't know. I'm a wreck. I cannot even think about this without hating myself, and I can't talk about it without crying.
I'm a broken fricken record about this story. Saying it over and over.
Apologizing over, and over, and OVER.
I am so sick of it. I do not want this, but I can't escape it. As much as I may want to, I can't. It is so easy to write about the bad.
I can't remember one good thing last said by someone important.
But I have a million good things to say about them. I always will.
And you're the one who's sorry?
Not as sorry as I am.
I don't want to be told to "get over it" as if it was ever that easy.
And I hate this. I really do. There is nothing left here. So I guess you were right about me being nothing more than my mistakes. I hope you take pride in being right. Because I am barely hanging on.
And you decided to walk away.
After all, this is the real me right? I've secretly always been this monster. I'm nothing more than you say.
So tell me what I am.
Giving in to the pain, living with the consequences of my actions. And saying that after everything, I am still going to hate myself.