Hello resident of apartment 6B,
I'm so happy you think
I'm your stinking mongrel's
best chance at a bowel movement!
While you're at it,
go play with some matches!
Better yet, park your car
next to me on the street!
I have a real job,
and I'm not employed
at Don's Johns!
Maybe if you set
yourself on fire,
you'll see me as something
other than a porta *****!