this world is
falling apart
terror is
everywhere

natural disasters
striking every other
day it seems like

kids bringing guns
to school where they
are supposed to learn

old men shooting up
music festivals leaving
50 dead and 500 wounded

police killing innocent
black lives who are
doing nothing but
living their lives

im so sick of it
this is not my world
trump is not my president

this is not the world
im going to raise my
unborn children in

i refuse to live in
a world where
terror is everywhere

i just want to feel
safe without having
to worry about if
im going to
survive another day

The weight of reality sits in my chest.
This is all beyond what my mind can comprehend.
How can it be gone if it's still here?

It wasn't perfect.
It left scars as I shed tears
No one ever saw either anyway.

Who am I? What have I become?
Is this all worth this path I walk on?

My pen is a knife,
Bloodletting across pages since I could hold it in my hands,
Since I know what it meant when shapes became words
And sentences became bought.
Now they won't stop
And I don't know how to let go
Again.

Every day is a new dance with grief,
Torn between remembering
And trying to piece together reality.

The pen pierces my heart.
It gushes new words onto paper with every beat
Words my mind and mouth are at a loss for
Words ears will never hear.

Even if they did, they're impossible to comprehend.
I write them anyway.
Just in case there's someone else out there
Crying alone in the shell of everything they've ever known
Trying to convince themselves it's worth it to inhale.

There's a woman standing in the line for cheese
and I see a sadness in her eyes
and a mouth full of lies.
She's gonna tell him,
I spent it on tailoring your vest,
and he won't believe her
and I suppose you can guess what comes next.
she doesn't know it yet,
but when she takes the goat cheese back home
her daughter will tell her she wanted brie
and her son will sell his father's shirt
for pick up drug money.
you dont know it yet,
but this line will cause death.

i'm just a whirlwind
i'm one of the mere walls
which try to surround and get close to you
but i know you can never be contained
not even with the strongest arms
or the toughest heart

you are the eye of the storm
and no matter how calm
or vague you are or seem to be
you are the gusty centerpiece,
the focused target
of everyone revolving around you

i hope you realize you've caused
the best kind of mess
that's all natural
and has left me speechless

because in this storm
of youth
i have found the calm
in you

"what makes you feel empowered?" "i don't know"
green spirals filled the gap in our noises
i took another drink and made profound eye contact with the ****** mary
her frozen, flickering lips asked me questions i couldn't remember the answers to
are you feeling paranoid yet?
how many times have you been in love?
why does walmart sell religious memorabilia at such a reasonable price?
i ignored her, as i have since i was seventeen, so i'm sure she was used to it by now
i took another drink and smiled as she grabbed my hand and he laughed and she sang and they talked over one another about things that we would forget tomorrow
things that seemed crucial to say right now before the moment slipped away
i let them talk and tried to absorb everything about this small, dysfunctional powwow that filled my heart to its very brim
every part of the circle was so crucial, every word and laugh and sigh and sip so necessary for its completion that i was utterly overwhelmed by my very luck to be alive in a time and place where it existed
i've never felt that way before
when i walked home, the morning was early and damp and covered in the darkest dark i've ever experienced
i saw a candle flickering in a window three stories up like a (relatively speaking) modern day northern star
i turned off my flashlight and walked home in silence, basking in the green glow in the wake of fear and love and pain and joy and destruction

The air is cool for a summer day.
Kittens play with fallen leaves
As the breeze does the same with my hair.
Everything around me familiar
Burned into my memory.

Small changes have happened over the years
But some things remain forever the same.
The big ant hill at the end of the road
It predates us.
Will probably out live us all.

The atmosphere feels different
As though autumn decided to debute
Before pumpkin spice is released in stores
For once.
I'm not complaining.

I take no pictures.
Instead I open my eyes wide
In effort to take in ever detail in front of me
As the moment that came is leaving
Even as I live and breathe.

Making shapes of clouds that tease the rain.
And to think, I really liked that day.

Just moments after the eye stops staring insatiably at us
You can hear the flicking on of all those machines
As you walk down the flooded streets so slow
The violinists pull the strings, and on they go
One to the left of us, three to the right
Two in front of us, and none to the behind

The conductors swing their arms
The symphony clangs, alarms
Lighting up the homes and the tv screens
Chilling the musicians, and the shaky beams
Walk around some more, you'll hear one hit a low C
While you slosh through the street's home sea

terribly trashed, torn
and tossed
around
the people's belongings
litter the
ground

recovery after tempest
where to
start
everything in the shape
of twisted
art

rebuilding the job
so enormously
big
who'll help them
mend the tattered
rig
where's humanity's
aiding
twig
homes and lively-hoods
crushed like a
fig

an aftermath
to
contemplate
fierce driving winds
and rains did
saturate
the Atlantic's forces
wouldn't
abate
fury unleashed as if
in much
hate

teardrops falling
falling so
hard
teardrops falling
over forlorn
yard

Have you felt the pain in my city yet ?
Winds on a surge,
Houses and minds overturned,
Life's taking an unwanted turn.
You can't be surprised,
This hurricane has no soul.

These roads leading to your path of destiny
Been cracked by too much debris on main street
The president isn't gonna do too much about it,
He's too comfortable laid back in his seat.
Chop
Another
Tree.
How can america come together in a nation wide crisis
When we can't come united to solve the real everyday problem ?
These power lines and houses been falling
Flood levels in Florida and Texas are rising
Didn't this world learn about broken hearts in New Orleans ?
Keeping your life in order
As the ones that love build on pain to peace
Only if you see through the rain, life's tears, a world's need.
Have you felt the pain in my city ?

©MH