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Juliana Aug 2021
This is an apology.

No, not a notes app apology.
You deserve more. This apology
is a thank you.

So thank you.
For being the people I needed, right before
I needed you. Thank you, for showing me
to the stars. Thank you, for teaching me
how to feel.

You arrived as a black wave, a dark abyss
coating the horrors yet unknown to me.
You held me near, a guidebook of pages.
I focused on you, blind to the evils surrounding me.

I loved you. I love you. I thank you.

The horrors haven’t left me.
I don’t think they ever will.
A mask will always hide my face,
I will always come running back to you,
I will always think of you when I’m alone.

But these days are brighter than when we met.
These days I look towards
the blue sky, not a dark wave.

These days I focus on joy.

These days, I let my love for you,
be a background, not my home.

So, to you,
I apologize, and I thank you.
For everything.
Juliana Apr 2021
On the wooden tiles,
the tanned shade a reminder
of tiny grains of sand,
the border to the ocean,
to the unknown.

On the wooden tiles,
where words flow out my fingertips
like a snowboarder slides
over serene snow,
leaving a scraped scene in her path.

On the wooden tiles,
where I do my best thinking.

A journal to my left,
the reminder of my past.
My memories.
A melody of murkiness clearing
into lines of text,
serifs removed
as I’m reminded of the truth.

A font is a beautiful thing.

My mind is a font
of which I paint with lead,
little lines, circles, and swirls
transforming before me,
recorded for eternity
in the open notebook to my right.

Right where I form my future,
my wishes,
my dreams.

Dreams created on a
teal and tanned typewriter,
erasure impossible,
only blocked out and burned,
escape imminent,
awoken as I turn off the screen.

— The End —