Can I be honest with you?
I am deeply in love with you,so much that it consumes me,all of me.
I try so hard to restrain myself from being in this situation but the harder I try,  the more I feel hurt and depressed.  
I don't know when or how I got myself here,  I swear I have been in relationships like this before-i mean the kind I feel am not in control ,  but it's never felt like this one.  
I have been heartbroken,  once to be precise,  took me years to get over,  then you came.  
But why is it that the men I am in love with make me feel depressed (hidden depression)
Is it that I love stupidly?  Wholly?  
Should I just not be in love and just enjoy the feeling of being loved?  
Why God?  
Am I cursed from feeling loved and my love appreciated?  
Why do I always have to shed tears when I fall in love?  
Why?
Honestly this isn't good for me,  or rather I wasn't meant to be with anyone I was deeply in love with.
I am Letting go-the hardest thing to do,  but I have to do this.  
Am hurting myself, sadly I know you think am being too paranoid,  but yeah, that's it..
That's how much I love you and I know it's not a good thing.  Even if you were to give me the attention and show me more love,where would this relationship go to?
My love is always a forbidden one.  
So,  I dont want to make this harder in future than it is now,
am sorry but I don't want this.  It's killing me.  
It's draining me
It's driving me insane
It's making me hate myself and lowers my self esteem
I feel stupid,  being in love like this.  
How could I?
Cant I just read between the lines and know how you want this relationship to be..
But again,  why should I, I can't control my heart..
I'll. Miss you,  I'll miss us,  but I have to go.
Thank you for making me fall in love again,  thank you for awakening my feelings again
Thank you for making me enjoy love makings once again,  I'll probably never get over this.
Thank you for the support you've always shown me
Thank you for coming into my life again.  Truth is,  I loved you many years ago,  but I was still fighting with getting over my first love, while clinging onto another relationship,so I said no to opening that door.  I loved you then,  I ran away from it,  only for it to catch up with me later.  
You have your own way of loving,  caring,  and all..
But I am a horrible lover,  when I fall in love,  I let it take control over me.  
I swear,  I am Letting you go,  it's for the best,  at least I need to get some of the love and give myself-even if I'll only grab away a quarter of it.
I know with time,  I shall regain all the love I showered on you and give me all to myself first.  Hold to it tightly...
and this is the last time I'll shed a tear while writing this.