You ripped my heart out of my chest.
And I have no clue
How to put it back in.

Part of me pines for you.
The practical side tells me to move on.
I don't know what to do, except what I've always done: act like nothing is the matter and stay strong.

I fear though that that might hurt things,
Make it seem to you that I do not care.
But then who knows if this even matters to you?!
I'm probably stupid and foolish to think this will all work out fair.

Did you pen this in a depleted moment
Indiscriminate to your heart waning desire.
Everything I did was for you, our life was
To be a unity of majestic significance.
Over again did I think about those syllables
Greeting my mind in a confused state.
Either I was yours or no one else's,
The tears that fell, like fake snow meaningless
Hearing you understand what we had to do
Every occasion we shared culminated in this
R**eal declaration of love, two shots and our hearts stopped.

Fear
Is a glue
That holds your once-broken-heart
Together

Eventually it dries.
The fear
Evaporates from
Your mind.
You forget.

The glue is gone.
Your heart strung high
As ever.
And then you fall
IT falls.

Fear is the glue that
Holds together
Your broken heart.
It dries. You forget.

Fear helps
You heal.

I notice your absence like an open wound,
found stuck to my sheets after a rough
night's sleep.
I don't know how it got there,
and I'm wondering what you smoked that you didn't notice half your heart missing this morning.

Your beauty hides, it's true
'Til after most harrowing moment
Then close and real and sincere
You step forwards
Full of grace and calm.

Please stay true to yourself
Your true true self that is
Don't give in to easy temptation:
A magic potion quick fix

Underneath feelings rile and strangle
Turn stale and fester
Let them out
    Let it out
In song or poem or husky roar
Feel it fully to heal it more.

Somewhere deep down I know you
Somewhere you know me too
Connections made will not be lost
Even with time and space

Please remember I truly care
And others love you the same
Reach out, open up
To connect more truly
In empathy, they long to listen

Your beauty hides it's true
But we all know it's there
Don't lament of weak spirit
Rise up oh inner strength
Embrace the nature inside

One day we will meet again
As friends
Our connections will be renewed
With music and laughter and bananagram
'Til then tears must be shed
With happiness as well as sorrow

Thank you for the teachings and learnings

Thank you for being a part of my journey

Thank you for the growth I now hold

meaningless words sang by a pretty voice
won't do much once you stop hearing
'cause you've realized you're not feeling.

and that shot of whisky feels better than being alone
'cause you'll take a burning sensation over the common cold
that rests in her heart, and rings in your head.

and the knife you keep close to your pillow to ****
the bad dreams away, but all you see is her face
and your blade it doesn't cut as hard as her words when they,

slice through your throat and... you still feel her fingers gripping
and they don't run down your broken little spine like they used to
no.

now they just linger in the depths of your soul,
her lips breaking your bones over, and over
just like before, once and for all.

Nothing has ever felt the way you do.
Your skin, your smile, the loss of color in your
cheeks, the redness around those beautiful,
dark lashes after you've cried.  
The way you make my mind drop all of its
useless content at the sight of your eyes.
The perfect beat of your heart when I lay my head on your chest, your scent.
Your limp skinny fingers, they're more than just flesh,
and bones. They're more than just you, and us.
Your mind and the way it works.
Your lips, your back, your legs, your soul.
I'm so in love with it all.


When I hold you, I feel as if I am lost in a dream,
Nothing feels more unrealistic than you.
Nothing feels worse than the pain, the worry,
the sadness that crawls slow and horrifically,
into my mind, my body, my soul when you hurt.
I wish I could carry it all away from you.


You are the last rose petal, and the saddest sun set.
And goodbyes with you, and 'see you laters'
are more than just phrases to me.
They're gashes, they're ghosts, they are leeches
that **** out your blood, and fire that burns.
And yes, it pains me to watch you go.
'Cause each step, and each mile you take, my heart
goes with you.
And your soul is more than just another metaphor.
Like all of them have been before.
Because nothing can ever, has ever, will ever
compare to you.

k.y


© 2015 karina y

The tears that stream down my face begin to match the color of my jacket. Hard, rough, and warm. Just like you. You don't bother to turn away from the crime you have committed. You watch me suffer, no emotion present on your still face. Our love has burned up like a cigarette. Don't dare try and tell me I was the one who lit the fire. You are the one to be held responsible. For you have burned up my heart and set it in an ashtray.