I see a beautiful blooming flower
I see birds chirping in the morning
I saw small children playing in the park
I saw an old woman knitting. She really enjoys her job.

I look around....
the sun was shining, the beautiful birds chirping, the smiles on their faces, the sky was light blue.

hmmmm happiness is simplicity that  make you feel peace.

Back in elementary, we were taught how to add the suffix "-ed" or use "was" to indicate that a verb is in its past tense.

At some point of my life, I found myself crushed at the weight of such simple words. I can comprehend what these words imply wherever they may sit in the order of words in a sentence, but I can now never let them slip away without wondering about the why's.

Why is it not here anymore? Why must it end?

There's nothing there anymore but the absence I cannot help but feel and burden upon myself.

At the same time I understood it completely. That the only justification for it was the fact that life has to go on, even if it may hurt you because you are not ready.

I was never ready for it.

And now I'm here, making a big deal out of verbs in their past tense.

God, I used to be very happy.

I share my thoughts with you
The world's weight on my back
Romantic delusions spin
Afraid to face the facts

Staring you down as you frown
Gaze right to the bone
Will sing you a lullaby
It makes you feel less alone

And nothing fixes my brokenness
Will exaggerate my claims
It will make me feel better
About the monster I became

The dark days drag their feet
Weeks blur into one
Time my greatest weakness
Will suffering never be done?

Even more sorrowful than usual
Bitten by love
Now I'm shy
You give me hope for happiness
With glimmer in your eye

There is a  slight
remnant of light
peaking through the evading
daytime glow, it casts
a shadow on your iris,
blue & cold.

There is a remnant
of  summer
winds in the cool breeze,
swaying us into
some decadent
daydream.

There is a remnant
And shadow  of
you in my tree lined
view, floating away,
like
you  always do.

So surreal and evading,
Blowing, never remaining,
so surreal and fading,

Like the remnants of
Light, like the remnants
Of our last
Goodbye.