i can no longer say i love you
without coughing up
a calyx of petals, darling;
for every written poetry,
for each metaphor for your eyes.
for each pillow-talk,
for each time i looked for
your amber eyes in a crowd,
for each sunset wish
and each love letter buried
at the end of every song, darling —
a flower, for each time
i say i love you
without trying to say your name —
a flower for each time
to pareidolias of your voice
with the pitter-patters of the rain.
just a flower, i thought.
but darling, my lungs are now a garden
of your favorite flowers;
they are now a garden
of all the times
i tried to unlove you
and all the times
i ever failed.
darling, they are now a garden
of all my i love you’s
and all the
i love you too’s
i have been sick
with coughing fits
not too long after
i start a drawing
of the ****** flowers
caused by unrequited love
i'm genuinely sick and have been for a while, i just found the timing funny
I remember the moment this all started
I had fallen in love, but with whom I did not know who
The scratches in my throat, my lips parted
The first blue petal fell, and I knew
It was the curse of one-sided love, the Hanahaki disease
Then after a while, I found out it was him
But he was the one I could never please
I gave up knowing my untimely demise would be grim
Yet I didn’t blame him for my death to come
I couldn’t be angry at him for me falling in love
I was mad at myself for being so dumb
It wasn’t his fault that when I saw him my heart soared above
When I choked on the last black rose, his face was in my mind
Little did I know he loved me, I was just too blind.
I LOVE THIS IDEA!
Hanahaki (definition): The Hanahaki Disease is a fictional illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up flower petals. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear (or memories) along with the petals. It can be cured without side effects only when the feelings are returned.
— The End —