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Leiah Jan 2020
I. Cotton candy streaks painting an indigo sky
Behind streetlights, sitting on a red sidewalk curb,
Next to paper bags of thrifted clothes
With your best friend
Outside a coffee shop
Her laugh on the ride home
Your favorite song on the radio
And she remembers the way back to your house
Without having to ask for your address

II. Eyes closed and
Your heart beating a little bit too fast while
You hope no one notices the way your hands are shaking
As you clench your fingertips down rosewood frets to 9 gauge strings
And pray you hit the right note
The drums behind you to the tap of your foot
Where you can feel the bass from beneath the floor
And the voices singing along
And you think to yourself
that maybe its not magic
But its the closest thing by far

III. Walking what feels like way too far to go to a grocery store
Because there’s nothing to do after school
With your friends
And your backpacks are too heavy and
The road stains your socks because your shoes hurt too much
believe me when I say a gas station sign can look like the gates to heaven
Safeway chicken tenders and boba over bio homework
Sitting on a metal table and waiting for the world to pass by
Or at least until you can drive
Renee Jan 2020
i take a pill every night
small round pink
tastes like skunk
if i can’t swallow it quick
the pill keeps me sane
releases me from my own hook
i am a shell without it
corroded by years of hardship
that pill saved my life
it’s the shoulder i lean on
my new sword in the stone
and never does it break
because it is i who wield it
and i have control
i command an army now
i am not just a soldier
Renee Jan 2020
traumatic depression
that’s what it is
woven from screaming
behind closed doors
that gradually turned into fights
at the dinner table
threats of physical violence
rushing in like a flood
during a rainstorm
it always left me feeling hollow
sad
scared
hopeless
well, what’s a family without a few scars?
Renee Jan 2020
little children will crawl into bed
with their parents at the time of night
when even graveyards are not awake
the last time i did that
i tried to curl against my mother
i tried to hug her
and she brushed me off
told me to stop squirming
i tried my dad
he just grunted and turned away
furling around himself
impenetrable as a coconut
i got up
and went back to my bed
now cold and lonely
at the time of night
when even dreams
offer you no comfort
roses Jan 2020
burn me with your abuse. i dare you.
burn me until my skin turns to plastic.
plastic skin to match a plastic heart.
singe my hair off,
like how you
singed off my protective layer.
break me down until i am on the floor
begging you to stay. i dare you.
i dare you to scream at me
until your lungs collapse,
filled with smoke, while i clutch
the blitz that i used to
set myself on fire to keep you warm.
and finally
walk away when you see
the warrior that you helped forge.
Sadie Jan 2020
You’ve always been there,
In the room next to mine.
I’d pound on our bathroom door,
Running out of time.

We’d yell at each other,
Screaming and fighting.
I sat through all your baseball games,
Even in lightning.

You’d play guitar for me,
I would sing.
Your music has always been my inspiration,
Its helped me to play my own strings.

Everyone loved you,
You could do it all.
From chess to sports to school,
You’d never drop the ball.

I used to be jealous of you,
Everything you could do.
It took far too long for me to realize,
It was only because I looked up to you.

Soon you’ll be leaving,
Going away.
Soon I’ll hardly see you,
Only on holidays.

I can’t remember our ages,
When “I hate you” became “I love you.”
I don’t know why we’ve changed,
But I’m glad we both grew.

So maybe as you conquer the world,
I’ll be seeing you less and less.
But I’ll think of you everyday,
Never with a second guess.

You won’t be there anymore,
In the room next to mine.
But I’ll always love you as my brother,
Regardless of city lines.
Leiah Jan 2020
this town feels so small
Or maybe that’s what everyone thinks in a state of social isolation
14, and halloween is just a plastic dollar store jack o lantern with a dent on the side
Lana del ray and the fluorescent orange of a playground slide
over a pile of snickers wrappers and the dead Thursday of a night

But she is unfinished poetry and coffee stains on a sweatshirt
the wings of blackbirds; the gray of the sky sweeping in over autumn winds
Funny, looking back because the dark didn’t feel so scary then
And she likes blasting music through her phone better than headphones
Even though the speakers are kind of broken
But I don’t really care because we’re listening to all my favorite songs
And she knows them all before I even tell her about them

And its miles of vague sci fi references I barely know anything about
While I pretend to laugh even though I’m too busy
Worrying my hands are sweaty
But eventually I give up because hers are too and
Straight up, I wondered if it was love or attention and

she asked me
are they not the same thing
littlebrush Jan 2020
Pen-named or inked-- 
her wrist swivels. 
She's had many names, this author. 

even through so many lives
still learning how to be unafraid. 

Her wrist swivels. The page turns. 

And the blank pages terrorize
like a cliff.

and she, on the edge, 
does not know how to jump--
does not know if she should.
Alek Mielnikow Jan 2020
not the man you used to be
and we do not know why
everything is suffocating
strangled by the lies

in the end it all felt wrong
like it was born to burn
scarring all your little ones with
nothing left to learn

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet
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Jenna Jan 2020
Mistakes will be made,
Lessons will be learned.
Excitement will fade,
My family will be adjourned.

I can drive with supervision,
I can stay out til 10.
I will never be in evil vision
I refuse to lurk in sin.
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