I didn’t know you
but I know you.

You were
a rebel.
It was in your veins.
You wore a leather jacket,
leather boots.
You’d walk down the street with
a purpose.
You never cared what they thought.
The roar of the engine
would bring a smile to your face.
You loved everything about it.
The rumble
and the low-slug feel of the seat.
You loved
the rush of wind in your face,
the feeling of being free and in control of life.
Your destination never mattered.
It was the trip you enjoyed.

Once you got a taste of freedom,
you became addicted.
Always seeking for excitement.
You searched for new places,
new people,
new things.

Explored.
Discovered.
Learned.
You did it all.

You cared for your family,
your friends.
Her.

I know you
loved her.
I could feel it,
see it,
sense it
when she entered the room.
I didn’t even see her right away
but I knew something was different.
I knew you were there
with her,
with us.
It was the first time I met her
but I knew who she was.
She entered with a purpose.
Just like you.
The way she stood.
The way she talked.
The look in her eyes.
Her presence.
Just like you.

The more I talked to her
the more I saw you.
It hurt listening to her.
She was in love with you.
I could hear it in her voice.
You’ve been gone for a while
but you impacted so many people.
I wish I was one of those people.
I miss you,
even though I never met you.

Your life betrayed you.
You were no longer in control.
The end came too soon.
You were too good for this world.

I didn’t know you
but I know you.

i would walk across broken glass
to hold you in my arms.
i would throw away my future
just to live with you in a box in
seattle if we could only laugh at the rain.
i have loved you from the first day of my life
because i have never lived before i met you.
i love you with every speck
of oxygen floating around in my lungs.
with every tick tock of the
small hand of the clock
my love grows fonder.
i’m not sure how you feel now
but i’ve never loved you more
and i’ve never been more afraid
and i’ve never felt such euphoria
when around one boy.
one tall troubled soul some how
made me feel more at home than i felt in my room.
i have loved him from the first day of my life
because i had never once lived before i met him.

*(r.e.)

i heard you were doing acid this weekend
burning holes in your brain.
were you trying to burn away the pain?
do you hurt like i do?
it’s hard to let you go because
you’ve burned a hole in my brain, too.
i still smell you when i hear your name.
my nostrils burn like my eyes.

my parents asked me if i meant it
when i said goodbye this time.
i said i did. today, anyway.
i might change my mind if
you come back home because
your hand is where my hand belongs.
you’re everything i hate.

i wasn’t planning to fall this hard
but i guess you warned me.
i didn’t cry until i let my mind
remember why i cried last time.
i’m scared.

*(r.e.)