Why do I **** it up?
Why don't I just not be here?

Constantly bashing myself,
Trying to grow.
Be a better person.

It isn't easy,
It's a nightmare to say the least.

I hurt those I love around me,
Because I can't trust.
Trust no one.

When I think I'm better,
That sickening feeling attacks.
Claws across my heart.
My brain seizes to think.

I panic,
I freak out.

Why?

WHYY?!?!

Why do I do this to myself?

I **** it up,
Because I'm so ****** up myself!

WHY?