One last phone call
Then you were gone
Trying to make sense of it
But no sense came at all.
Your smile and joy
You decided to quit
however I know
it was all a decoy
Your heart was broken
you felt so low
You tried so hard
many words unspoken
I know you are watching
And keeping guard
Life is all good
like you always said
Until we meet again
Be proud of all you withstood
I’ll send my love up there instead.

People always say
Let love go and it will come back
This notion held me like a tether
Like a thin rope of leather
Lifting me up light as a feather
All so you could help put me back together

inside slovenly crystalline stares,
words flitter, flutter, settle,
nest. resting on pages
that they couldn’t truly claim
as their own, yet still find love in them.
breakneck, fast-paced loving and mayhem,
turn around, find peace, lose it and question.
your process: sputter to a void,
senseless, demanding.
you dry-faced cry and burgeon.
love is in your heart, so claw it out
and be truthful.
admit yourself to yourself.

The first person to find out
The first person I was scared of
The first person I had ever loved

The first person to have ever
break my heart



Dear friend, my first true love,  
You will always be in my heart.
I could never forget you. No matter how hard I tried.

you feel like
soft autumn rain
underneath
amber streetlights,
while stormclouds
dance above
bringing the promise
of m a g i c.

Eyes beaming to boisterous belly laughs of old friends-
pursuing painted sunsets and cold winds.
Made me feel like a man, from your alcohol and wine.
She said, “where were you when I wasn’t fine?”

Deluded her with my plausible lies, truth be told-
You were forgotten, but I’m not your foe.
Is he a better charmer whose eyes light up your den?
Lost a good friend, cause’ I left for some men.
Oh, how foolish I was, I cried more than I could chew.
Truth is I am not a man without you.

i was always told
vampires don't exist
yet i spend hours and days
feverishly trying
to forget the feel
of your teeth upon my skin.