June the first...
About thirty minutes after 9 AM.
I got the call.
I remember not allowing myself to believe you'd leave.
I messaged your Facebook,
telling you how much I cared about you.
I reminded you that we needed you to stay,
so you had to keep fighting.
I remember feeling so on edge that day,
but still not letting myself let go of that hope.
I believed so strongly that you'd breathe on your own again.
The next day,
All of us were on pins and needles.
Your mother was posting pictures of you,
strangers in states you'd never even been were praying for you.
Then 3:07 came.
You took your very last breath.
You took a part of us with you.
I cried so hard that I didn't think I would ever stop.
I wanted to scream at you...
but I also just wanted to hear your voice again.
I wanted to wake up,
only for someone to tell me it was just a horrible nightmare.
But I couldn't.
This was reality.
You were gone.
And the worst part of you leaving,
was the fact that I didn't know where you went.
Could you still hear me when I talked to you?
Were you watching over us?
Or were you too far away now.
Or were you even around at all anymore.
Were you simply just gone?!
I questioned everything after you left.
But eventually I had to come to terms with something.
That something was that you were not here.
No matter where you were or weren't,
you would not be HERE again.
I wouldn't see you or hear you again,
except for in my dreams where I pleaded for you to tell me why...
the one's where you smiled and refuse to answer.
I had to start letting go.
Once I started to let go,
I began to see things clearly again.
The pain of losing you was still there,
and I know it will never leave,
but it wasn't keeping me from living anymore.
I decided I couldn't let you go in vain.
I had to start living a life you'd be proud of instead.
So here I am...
Almost four months later,
on this rainy day,
thinking about how much I miss your dumb jokes.
Thinking about how happy I am that I got to know you.
I still wonder where you are,
but I just hope it's somewhere beautiful.

I thought our fate was intertwined,
But it turned out that I was just blind.
No matter how hard I try, we never touch.
I want to do my best to be okay and such.
You were my friend, I knew I could always trust you,
But you came back to visit and you were brand new.
The time between passed, and we’d forgotten each other,
It seemed like we were no longer there for one another.
You came back though and we had a couple laughs,
But it’s obvious we’re on separate paths.
I know I gotta say goodbye, it’s the right thing to do,
But a proper goodbye is long overdue.

We've been friends for quite a while
We've always made each other smile.
I'm not sure when I felt a change
But now my feelings for you have a range.

I'm not sure if I like you yet,
These feelings might not be set.
I know I don't want to hurt you,
And deep down, I'm scared that you'll leave too.

And if I wait any longer
Maybe they will get much stronger.
But if I tell you too soon
You might run as far as the moon.

You might like me, I'm not too sure
And if you do, we are our cure.
I still don't know if I like you
But I want to try, I really do!

I'll open up my mind and heart
As long as you don't tear it all apart.
And if we crumble back to two
Just know I'll still be here when you feel blue.

So if you read this, at any time,
Please just send me back a little rhyme.

-3nwlry