I made a new friend, you know.
She’s absolutely beautiful.
She is with porcelain skin,
with long dyed red locks.
She says she has been
through a few too many rocks.
She has a heart of gold.
just like slivers of her hair.
Not too many have cared,
even after her soul has bared.
I would like to be there, and
create a new friend here.
She deserves way more
than her past life’s gore.

I remember you saying*  *I'd never see the light
   The tightness of your tone made me admit that you were right
     Helicopters hovered to ensure your illusion
     The resulting wind kept me swept up in the depth of your confusion
      Lies turned to bars, bars into a prison
            It became so dark I started questioning my vision

      Are these visits?
      Or is this just for appearances?

    The choppers in the darkness kept a tight perimeter
Choking out my thoughts
                          I thought about giving up

     Hunger for something crept all the way up my spine
     A broken mirror in my abyss of a cell was well designed
     All the pieces aligned in a sharp little smile
      I ate and ate but instead of full, I felt vile
    Reflecting on the inside I see the illicitness of complicity
    Of allowing your words to get to me
    Of                  
                                 listening
    to the enemy

       It all clicked like the slamming of a door
    I close my useless eyes and I wasn't there anymore
        I listened to my own voice and slowly crept outside
      Now you're trapped without a button to press
   And you'll never see  my  *light.

Come in, take off your clothes,
you're soaking wet.
I'll get you dry for free,
you'll be reset.
For now, lie on the couch,
I'll be close by,
ear pressed against the door
with you in the other room
naked in my mind.

I'll get you dry for free,
you'll be reset.
Cleanse the wounds
****** and guns
hide in your skin.
I am the one who can
kindle your feet
so softly
you'll never know
you are burning
til you turn to ash.
I'll get you dry,
you'll be reset.

Life is not about worrying about tommorrow
It's about enjoying what you have today

So smile
And hold your family
A little closer
While they're still around
Because tommorrow

They could be gone

I had to watch this boy go from 8-26 with a full man in his chest in less a moments notice, he was so angry from the sudden unwanted growth upon his being. The growth started in his collar bone, spread to his elbows, and exploded through his cupped fist slammed through the dried wall. I have see a lot of anger in my life. I've see small dogs get so angry that we follow them around everyday, their tails that is, that a circle is what makes sense to chase their feeling around the room. The dictionary says there are a few different synonyms for anger, like indignation, rage, and my favorite piqué.... Now this is my favorite word because the definition of pique is to affect with sharp irritation and resentment; especially to the pride. The image this draws across my neurons in the dome of safety behind my eyes ;just  imagine a king standing strong, chest out, flexing his insecurities across his cheeks. These cheeks have seen little girls cry from all the mothers taken away in the daytime hours to feed their needs to be alive, torn hair out of tomorrow because it looked too promising with potential, and a smile with deception lining each tooth. This king was confident in his worth. Then I watched the king wake up from his dream with an anvil on his throat and Grenades in his shoulders, ready to blow on anything with the ***** to step, to only realize he is standing in a group home with bare walls around the meds on the table. The pique sleeping in the beast will stayed subdued, the meds are kicking in. This is the image I imagine, because as I live life with this human machine I have watched the state shuffle his chess pieces into Chinese checkered closets to make it through the weekend. Mondays bring another day of forgetting families that ruined mind sets, but the families still lay on heart strings still playing come home to me. You were not made for this life happening before your eyes, you were made for much more, like changing lives. And you have shape shifted mine. You have shown me what strength is, because I always thought strength was being able to lift the most baggage off hearts broken like glasses in a middle school mix up. I was wrong. Strength is mustering up the courage to step out of bed when the world screams to you no, and your mind is heavier than the world under your tongue that you have yet to tell of. We both know you can change a life, it's just hard with the restraints placed across your ability, I'm sorry. To be honest, I know he is a king with a heart made of palace, bones of gold, and a head made from broken crowns his family has never fixed.  he has directed more life night lights than staff members have told him stop. He will not stop with the directional force of an ocean in his footsteps. I have never told him that he can move mountains with his voice, lift reality with his left arm and a fist with the other to show the power that he believes he can't possess. Buddy, I know they have held you down for so long, and that you despise them for it. I believe with everyday of my ****** heart that one day, you will change the universe. Because with a king like you, there is always a revolution.

Take your concerns, sweet mother
weave them with your hatred,
your bitter contempt of youth
Take your forced confessions
like poison from my Judas tongue
while you sigh in eager disappointment
at the damage done long before.

I was not made in your image
this was not my crime to answer
I was the cuckoo in the nest
a child of a wayward child, 
given in hope of more
in many ways gaining less

Affection in monetary value
a room full of treasures
to hide my empty heart
loveless and longing
for a connection with something other than your stinging palm

My rebellion, taken in personal tones
was against my existence, not yours
Unwanted, unloveable girl
my constant internal monologue
screaming above the screamers
that made my speakers bleed.

my need for you has not diminished
nor will my love for you fade
there is no understanding
for the misunderstood it seems
we remain locked in battle
bathed in tears, questioning love
your scars deep, my gratitude deeper.