A capsule for depression
A tablet for anxiety
Driving to the pharmacy
I pass where we had our last meal?
No this was the next to last.
The restaurant is gone as usual
You nearly slipped
As we eased you back into the car
But I had you
And so did the valet
You were never going to fall
Although there was panic in your eyes
And a bit of spoilt anger

That last dinner
On the seashore
The swirling lights on the beach
I have no appetite
Again
And you look at me strangely
A doctor still
I delight in your holding the wine glass like a two-handled sippy cup
I sat and stared at the colors flashing far off in the distance
Swirling round and round
Blue and then yellow and red
I wasn’t present
I knew what was coming
You’re moving ever slower
Your pain is immense
You lay your head down on the kitchen table but never groan
The Navy taught you that well
But it doesn’t help me
I hear you practicing your leg drills
To keep your muscles working
Thump
thump
thump upon the kitchen floor
But this time
A prolonged silence of defeat,
Or hopelessness
Or acceptance
You stopped after four or five
And I never heard those sounds again
Because what was the point really
It’s over

One morning behind you
walking slowly through the dining room
I see our reflection in the mirror
I think
It’s time
It’s time for you to go

This is indeed our last meal.
And I could not eat.