I don’t know how we changed,
and when

I can’t remember the first time we kissed
or the first time we - well.
but I remember the first time you told me where you were living next year
and the second time
and the third.

you picked the right moment to meet me, or was it just chance?
that the club was closing but there was still time for one dance

and I only had one ciggie left but you didn’t mind sharing
and you knew where the after party was and you didn’t mind sharing

I have to stop seeing techno boys
Because I think that it’s meaningful when really I’m just high
on the music.

I really want to talk to you about how crazy it is that the light hitting the Earth right now is billions of years old
or maybe just how my day went because I’m not a Tumblr post

we’re sitting in the pub with two drinks between us like a moat
and I really want to tell you something
but I CAN'T because you're talking
about where you're going to be living
next year.

or what you study at uni & last week's pub crawl
you say all these words and you just say **** ALL

but I just smile and filter you out
because in the end I know there’s no doubt
that we’ll go home tonight and go through the motions
& in the morning you’ll leave to ‘charge your phone’

I’m kidding I’m kidding take me seriously, please
not that I care but it means the world to me

because the person you are in my head doesn’t match up
to the boy sitting in front of me on a ****-up

I think that I'm realising I’m in love with MY love
and it’s impossible for you to ever measure up

(but anyway you were kinda setting yourself up to fail)
(when you spend the whole date talking about trainer resales)

so I guess this is a break-up - if we even warrant that -
cause I know we won't speak if I don't text back

and then in three months, I’ll run into you again
and I’ll wonder how we changed,
and when.

Put on the filter to make myself better.

One of the hardest challenges with writing
is the honesty in it.

Our whole lives we are taught to filter our thoughts,
make them psss through our minds before our mouths.

With writing, the whole point is to allow the words to come out unfiltered and raw.
We must enable them to come from the heart without passing through too much of our minds.

The greatest writers epics nor an edifice of stone can impress greatness upon me, no sense of humanity

Time, the great equalizer, bête noir of my desire with nothing to give but the present, its present for me

For what do I owe the pleasure of viewing the world through raw filters, no coated glass

Far from this head imploding there lies another human, soft, wet, and warm ...thanks Keats, this time ill pass

I pray to a dead god this is a dream

I don't have to drive my car
To go to the online bar
So I can acquire a date
With my potential mate
But once I entered the seedy site
I experienced an unexpected plight
Everybody in the place
Had a silly dog face
It seemed like a furry paradise
I couldn't believe my feral eyes
They try to make me see through a filter
In order to purposely throw me off kilter
Covering up their eyes, nose, and cheeks
There's a smell of deception that reeks
Their lies
Draw flies
I sniff them out with my canine nose
As my willingness to be alone grows
Because everyone is a liar
Which extinguishes my fire
So I filter them from my life
In order to avoid strife
Yet I keep hopefully searching for love
Symbolized by, but not literally, a dove
I want to view the world through rose-filtered glasses
But I desperately look around only to see dogs' *****

Close
But not intimate;
Friends
Without benefits;

Love of my life
How do you stay
In my life.

We snap a picture
Immediately
Look for the best filter.

Lovers to friends
A relationship on diet.

Lovers to friends
Pillow talk outside the bed.