It's my second Christmas without you. Well, ironically, I've never actually had a Christmas with you. Even when we were together, we spent this day apart. But still, I think of you today, and I feel your absence just as any other day.
Does it make me sad? Sure. You did radiate light once upon a time. But that was before you stopped caring, and before we both said and did things that we regretted.
In truth, we died out years ago. It doesn't mean I don't love you from afar, and it doesn't mean I don't remember the good moments that we had. I miss sparkle in your eyes and your gentle smile when you were happy. I miss your laugh, and your jokes. Your silliness, and even your arrogance sometimes. I miss your grumpy days, and how you'd shrink into your shell when you wanted to be left alone.
Because that's what love is... It's loving the good along with the bad. I miss it all, but deep down I know that it's not you anymore.
We aren't the same people that we used to be, so those arms that I miss today, aren't really yours at all, that smile that remains in my memory, isn't yours either, and the laugh that lit up my world, belongs to someone else. The memories are of you, yes, but that which makes my heart ache belongs to you no more, because you have not that to offer. You have nothing to offer me, just as I have nothing to offer you.
So I hope that today, you smile, and laugh, and that you have warmth in your heart, and that maybe you miss me just that tiny bit, just as I miss you. But maybe the things you miss about me aren't mine at all. Maybe they're just shadows left behind by memories of once upon a time.
