the lumberjack handles his axe
delicately
rolling it over in his fingers
like a gambler itching to make the bet
adrenaline saturating his sweat.

the anticipation lingers
until
a slight trace of malevolency
breaks free from his tips
parched for a place
to quench his needs
where no one succeeds.

the desire for release
achieved in complete ease
a snap!
and all your woes fade away
as your sanity dismantles into decay.

derived from the ever close disease
that sulks temptingly
behind the coziest fleece
that couldnt be banished
by even the sludgiest grease.

life would be better off
without its persistance
tugging at his cloth.


everyday shows a new way.

be smart about how you want to play.

sometimes it seems too easy
slurping into a man who pleases me
makes me feel queasy
but all he does is tease me

i anticipate darkness
my actions seem thoughtless

but really
it's a rally of good vs evil,
what feelings will conquer
and what ones will shrivel?

i crave adrenaline
never feeling enough is enough.
trapped in a cycle
too blissful to dismiss,
eventually invoke the abyss.

energy swarming my fingertips,
unsure of where to exchange the flow
fiending for the delicate aroma of rose hips.

he got suspended this week
trying to act on his wishes
i just thought you were speaking
abnormally
but then you were peaking
no time for thinking.

as a child
we realized the world could be conquered
longing for the wild
and searching for the sign
that will make it all better

searching for a sweater
to cover all the chatter

theme music bumping
not a care to be trumping

life erupting
anxiety inhaling
nervous thoughts prevailing

you've really grown up.

straight for a moment
winding again
aching for atonement
a silence of zen

can you understand me?

if you die in your dreams
you die in real life too

i never thought I'd be in the morgue
free of college loans
free of troubled relationships
free of daily struggle

you could at least take my clothes off
as i gorge my body in eternal slumber
let my life energy dissolve
and slip through the casket cracks

my sparkles of matter
seek a fresh host
most compatible
with my reincarnation

they flicker in nothingness
to suppress the inevitable
afraid to begin life renewed

my cells linger in shame
alone in the void of will
free of responsibility
free of choices
baptised in pure utopia

but they know their true purpose
unpermitted to resist
if a decision cannot be made
one will be made for them

do they accept the ease
allow the decision to be made
and alleviate anxieties

or do they determine the best host
for their misfortune

I'm slinkin out,
puttin a future behind.
My thoughts are in a scatter
How can i decipher all this chatter?

I just wanna float by in a haze
Leave my mind in hope for some sort of praise,
One moment of peace.

I can't take the accusations
I may seem lost but it's all in the creation

Boozed up, no judgement to spare
Wouldn't have even bothered on a dare
Am I the only scumbag?
Nah, you're all ****** in the head too.

I let the shell crumble
Gave into the demon.
No ***** left to give,
I'm in this alone.
My mind knows its truth,
My heart ignores its signs.

Make me smile and maybe my
Legs spread, knees bend.
Seek your truth,
Have you found mine?

they say showing your true self can be scary
and that people like to avoid it
like bugs crawling under your skin
sinking their teeth from within

theres no way to escape the mites
that pump you full of frights
they linger and quiver
until you're stuck wondering
why you're getting thinner.

You'll be twenty anyways.
You're hesitant because you know your hairs will gray,
but you'll be twenty anyways.
You'll be thirty either way.
between the sheets of snow and stressful days.
you know you'll be thirty anyways.

Come forty and fifty,
then eighty and one-hundred;
Ninety-three, ninety four
then one-hundred and one dozen.
No matter which way or when,
all help from friends and cousins,
you'll be thirty anyways.

A second sun
peaks and flutters
in the color-dust
of virga
refracting light
of false idols
shading skies to
new horizons.

See ya later
with a question            (x2).
I forgot how
to say goodbye,

A second sun
peaks and flutters
in the color-dust
of virga
as thunder rolls
down a stale sky
into the fray
of a twilight.

See ya later
with a question.             (x2)
I forgot how
to say goodbye.

A second sun
peaks and flutters
in the color-dust
of virga
refracting light
of false idols
shading skies to
new horizons.

It *****, y'know,
life & ****.
Everything *****,

sometimes.

But I guess
that's what makes it
good too,

sometimes.

It seems that
'always'
is the enemy
of emotion.

Or at least

sometimes

it is.