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Frank Ruland Jan 2015
"Honey--I'm home. Do I smell dinner?
It's been a grueling day at work.
My boss just patrols and lurks
around, pouncing on office sinners!
Pray tell, just what's cooking?
I hope you don't mind me looking."

"No dinner for you tonight
because you aren't getting thinner."

"You're worried about my weight?!
I sit in traffic, go to work, get yelled at
and I come home to this?
I just so dearly anticipate
getting tossed to the welcome mat,
because I'm over all of it!

"You've been work getting stuffed with pay, while I've been here by the oven this whole **** time, waiting for you, slaving away. Where does that leave me? there's work and no play. Now sit down, shut your mouth/****** gob, and eat your tea"

"Eat my tea?
Woman, your losing it--
mind, touch and all--
this relationship is insanity!
I'm fed up with tea and biscuits,
I just want to sit down and watch football!"

"Ball, ball. Is that all that matters?
I've been cleaning this **** house all day, every crook and cranny.
At the rate I'm going, I'm heading towards/verging on insanity!"

"You're going crazy?
This relationship is BAD--
worse than any cheesy RomCom--
bad like a cop out to taze me!
I feel like we're a dying fad,
and I just want you to let me be!"
Eefs' Lines: Italics
Mine: Arial

This is a collaboration between the talented Eefs Jungmann and myself. Truly, this was hilarious write and we really wanted to show that love is crazy in and of itself.

Please, check this girl out! Her poetry, I mean. Get your mind out of the gutters.

— The End —