I decided to throw a sickie,
I thought; What the hell?!
But I knew it would be tricky
convincing work I was not well.
I’m not the type to take the Mickey,
I’m normally as good as gold
And I was feeling a little bit dicky,
if the truth be told.
I just needed a day off or two
but had used all my holidays,
And I knew I would not be up to
doing very much anyways.

When I rang, I coughed and spluttered,
convincing as could be!
I won’t be in today I muttered,
ever so hoarsely.
I think I have an infection
but I’m not really sure,
My stomach keeps retching
and I have a temperature.
I have not slept since yesterday
with a pounding headache,
I think coming in to work today
would be a huge mistake!

“That is totally unacceptable”!
was the unexpected response,
“You will be in so much trouble
unless you come to work at once”!
“You had better come in this morning!”
“This is just not good enough!”
“Or I will give you a final warning,
and you can pack up your stuff”!
“If you do not come in today,
don’t ever bother coming back”!
“if you are not in work straightaway,
I will give you the sack”!

I was somewhat taken aback,
I could not believe my ears
To be threatened with the sack
after working hard for years!
I think I went into shock,
I was suddenly left reeling!
I was in an awful ****,
Twice as bad I was feeling!
I could not help but stress,
I could not believe it was true.
So I went to work under duress,
what else could I do?

I was not long at my work station
when spark out cold I went!
Causing great consternation,
It was a major incident!
And when it was discovered
what had actually gone on,
before I had even recovered
the manager responsible was gone!
Thank God I recovered fully
after some rest and recuperation
and was able to retire comfortably
on my substantial compensation!

For all managers, a lesson
When people ring in sick,
You should never go off on one!
There’s no point getting thick!
You may be the one they fire
Where would be the gain?
And the target of your ire
may never have to work again!
You need to tread more carefully
In this litigious age,
You need to have the ability
To control your rage!
You may have a job to do
Lots of boxes you must tick
But if this is why they fire you,
Would you not be Sick?!