I'm slowly destroying my own self.
This disease is eating me alive
While I watch from behind my eyes.
Each day I try and pretend
That I'm not angry
Or scared out of my mind.
I'm a brain trapped in a broken body
With no way out
And no way to fix what's broken.
All I can do is hope to stop the disease
In its tracks
And hope I don't get worse.
But there is no getting better.

A populace filled with totalitarian tranquility

The supposition that the world is in a harmonic homeostasis

Blissful ignorance that leads to careless calamity

Amid the uproar of the most populated of places

Therein lies the seed of humanity’s deceptive destruction

A solitary host housing a virulent virus

Infectious disease that proceeds crisis and corruption

Hope only stands with the powerful and pious

Prognosis describes communicable cannibalism

Rabid outbursts show signs of voracious violence

The harrowing pandemic leads to ceaseless cataclysm

Cities and towns suspended in systemic silence

Habitations riddled with gratuitous gore

Hope fades in the wake of the crimson carnage

The pestilent hoard feeds to a glutton’s galore

The Author of humanity publishes the final page

The closing verse rains down a rapturous recompense

The high cost of a dense population paid at humanity’s existential expense

blurred lines cover the edges
a frayed connection lingering over the filter
patches bite at the edge of their vision
the message lost in its dance
men wander to the notes flung across the sea
their wives at home crying for the loss
new words make its way through his lips

I won't call it a disease,
I'll call it this This instead.
Tired of sitting in meetings
about meetings.
Tired of swallowing pills
stacking up bills.
This is what I live with
and "it must be so hard"
but I'm strong.
A strong woman searching
to be weak.
Using various techniques
to dodge a flaming hot tear.
Because I cannot bear
watching myself crumble
at the expensive of evil emotions.
So I unconsciously chose
This instead of emotion.

The Autumn baronies have fallen.
A culture of flames, brilliant and bold,
Against cold indifference of time.

What is a King, with a broken crown.
Vermilion leaves sail across pools of crimson.
Cobblestone stained, forsaken name.

Death divine, dancing kindred spirits,
Haunting the halls of Royal ruin.
Longer still, grows the silence.

It's when tragedy hits that we feel the smallest.

I feel like I can't help, like no matter what I do, I won't make a difference to the cause.

You're resilience and strength has inspired me the years that I have had the pleasure to know you. And now... Now there is this plague that is draining you and I can't change it or help it.

Your family has fought so many battles already. I have never met such a strong bunch. And yet, here they are, having to tackle ALS too.

Such a difficult thing. Something that has no cure or fix or remedy.

That's the funny thing about humans. We don't realize what it's like to not have control until we don't. How incredibly painful it must be to look at your hands, wanting to move them and nothing happens.

I put myself in your place, in your shoes and I am just a rock at the deepest darkest corner of the ocean, covered in algae and sand.

I am motionless.

Much like you will be for the rest of your life, however long we get to have you for.

I am flooded with the emotions and heart break. We have no control. We have no cure. We have no hope.

I want to muster all the hope and prayers I possibly can but I am just struck by the heart ache. I am weighed down by the thought of a world without you. I am scattered and crushed.

This entire time I have been saying nothing but "I" statements and how I feel and how I am. But this isn't about me and how heart broken I am... It's about you

The you who has been a pillar of love and strength to his family

The you who held his wife's hand as she battled cancer

The you who celebrated gleefully the 10 year anniversary of her remission

The you who lost loved ones to other dreadful diseases

The you who donated his time to the arts and the education system

The you who showed people how to think creatively

The you who raised three beautiful children

The you whose daughter is getting married this year

The you who won't be able to walk her down the aisle

The you gave and gave and gave until you actually couldn't walk anymore

This is all about you. The love that is being shown is to you. The tears that are being shed are for you. The hearts that are breaking, break for you. The minds kept up late at night writing frantically to ease the fears are for you. You are the center of this, our one priority.

Please, please let the prayers being poured out for you right now bring healing, bring peace and bring a miracle to you.

Life would not be the same without you and you need to know that.

I woke up to screams from a stolen razor.   
Where is it?  
It was a loud scream.          
The end comes swiftly,
anyway,
and,
if there are no razors around,
it comes even faster.                        
 
At the top of the mountain,
the anger flows to the valley,
and there is no scream.                                  
In the valley, we wait.                
There is a pull from a cigarette.                               
Small talk that is not small talk.                                        
A man wheezes   
A woman wonders where she'll go tomorrow                                          
it comes out as a laugh
                  and lightly in the background plays a song that can only be called the disease of the 80's.                                       
 
We didn't need another.                                     

But, thank you.