perfumed delusion, unruly exclusion
time bombs ticking and toking
vibrant illusions, visual pollution
cutting all the ribbons and strings
you tried to tie me up in, you tried to rub the salt in
to my many many wounds
I felt so lonely in crowded rooms
crowded stadiums, your eyes never met me once
I was too nervous to confront your fronts
shy away from topics that we needed to discuss
performing necromancy trying to keep this dead love up
checking the pulse, it's so gone now
we are both adults, you remain disavowed

I stand up, look with the eyes in the mirror
****** and red
Show my palm to hold the glass but i wipe
My tears instead
I know I might cry again, the cause I cannot
Erase you from my head
Maybe I go, I go and sleep, sync with my bed
Instead I hope you hope…. I do not have you at all
With wishes that the moments should have been dead
Then I will be banging my head, hate will rule over
Eat in me deep
feelings shall heap & the nightmares will be begging
For life… but no,
Nothing of this part of my bliss will ever change
Nothing will ever go
You will just be someone I would know
but death…. gently decorated lying in the coffin, waiting to be buried
Praying, wishing if I was staying up to see the flower grow off me
And let you pluck it off to give away to the one who replaced me
in you but are you freaking kidding me?
Because I will wait till someone tells you, ‘Get off me, you’re irritating me’,
And send the news to my fellow dead one’s you can now rest in peace
It was one of the days, she says, she wants to speak with you,
‘look at this kid, he wants to be someone like you’
Green land, holding hands, I’ve been dreaming
about bands of colors in slow motion of the portion of it.
I wish to remember a part of my emotion. I check the album turn up the pages and recall the moments in a negative version.
I shout out and screamed
I was told to closeout a deem or maybe hold to be
what I’m not supposed to be
I loved you, adored you, the same I wanted for me
but though I knew life is not how it promises
then I forget I ever lived in the premises
where you were the nemesis all I did was anything to make you feel home
not just bricks and layers If we really know what living is
I am trying to unload, trying to whisper and speak to whatever, whoever I’m not,
now because I’m lost, it has cost me more than I can imagine maybe one day I can

maybe one day I can ignore you begging when you completely lost me
I picture, picture of smiles in hundred different files when I was talking about you holding me then
now one of us is smiling, piling up memories, checking in and out then
I see him, walk past me in a disguise; I know what he tries, never look me in the eyes.