In loving memory of the old me,
I am deceased, gone, I’m history.
Faded away but still breathing,
Fighting the urge of really leaving.
My public persona is laid to rest,
Was prepped, embalmed and dressed,
Laid in a hole, deeper than six,
A permanent solution with no easy fix.
Or better yet, I was cremated,
Burnt, diminished and completely degraded.
What was left, my cremains, were put in a box
And shoved on a shelf like a broken clock.
Either way, it doesn’t matter,
Be it the first or be it the latter.
Burial or cremation, the cost is the same,
One human soul, only a memory to remain.

Deceit you speak all the while
Knowing I know and how I feel.
Thrashing scars upon my flesh,
God knows they'll never heal.
Mistrust and doubt,
Lies and hidden truths;
All the same and all coming from you.
It's all that I can do not to shout.
My nerves clenched tight,
Can't you hear them scream?
I say to you, you're right, as I
Try to bury my truest emotions.
Being who you want is merely a dream
Inconceivable madness;
Pure in love and intricate filth.
Already weary souls, encumbered with The weight of every lie.
White lies, black lies; colorblind
Lucidity comes without pigment
All the flickers of light;
Can't you see them?
They call my name and wish
To carry me away.
Love and lies and passionate cries
Have brought me to endless insanity
No one left to save me.

I've loved you too hard.
It WAS your fault.
You gave me everything I needed.
Heart turned mush, most would revolt.

I loved you too hard.
And you told me you loved me more.
But what am I to do with this.
A heart petrified and sore.

I've loved you too.
And you gave it back times four.
A heart unloved.
You returned it to the store.

I loved you.
I cared for you more than self.
Demons nawing at my will.
Im unable to release you, help.

I love you.

By following the light,
You will break yourself.
You will be punched and pushed,
And stretched to lengths
you never thought you could venture.
But you will survive.

The light saves you from that decaying part of you that would be your demise.
It heals you and makes you whole.
By destroying you,
and putting you back together.
Tighter.
Stronger.

--

A new day,
A new person.

You rise from the fire;
The flames lick your skin.
They feel warm,
And you feel rejuvenated.

You are reborn from fire, from the light,
And light you become.

--

The darkness is repelled by your presence;
You have broken free of your deficiencies.
By conquering your demons,
You have proved yourself above the dark.

The blackness is trapped beneath your feet,
*It can never control you again...

Today was nothing more
than a woeful echo
of my life yesterday.
And the same is true for
every day I have lived
ever since I gave up.

I don’t remember
what led me down this
lonely desolate
path of nihilism,
of self-destruction.

I don’t recall
a time I felt
differently.
Blank mind. Blank walls.

So I wait,
stoic, numb,
as silence

descends
upon

me.