Stone cold rocks inside my chest
Boulders that can't be moved
They grow heavy on solum days
Mornings of greys and blues

My heart begins to harden
Slowly it turns to stone
My lungs start icing
I freeze down to the bone

Weighted down by stone cold rocks
Rocks made of worry
Rocks made of pain
Rocks made so heavy
Rocks kept in vain

Sculpted to a statue
by thoughts in my head
Cold are the days
my chest weighs like led

Dig your flesh blade deep
Within
Twist & Turn
I’m desperate for the pain
Pleasure
Of your love?
Lust
Validate me
Love me
Love me
Love me
Hate me

Why do my eyes waver in salt water?
It's just a concept I don't really understand when
The ocean in my mind is dry but
My eyes? So wet.
And yet, fire roars through an ***** named Passion - and the sand beneath my feet burns their soles and tries to
Penetrate my soul
But I have buckets,
Tucked under two lids,
That can spill with or without my will.
They can put out a flame, both good and bad. A blessing and a curse.
I'm told that fish can't climb trees but I have neither arms nor gills you see
I have been immobilised,
And it's down to a monochrome smear on a canvas with so much potential;
A plethora of 'dos' and 'don'ts';
The slaughter of a lamb.
I would like to stand in solidarity with each martyr of idiosyncrasy.
I wonder if anything we ever do will be enough.

congestion of a lung-
the left one that he can live
without;  
sans the pareidolia, what is
this organic machine?
maybe a
fool weakened by
failure of finding the
force in front of him.
having waited this millenium
after Archimedes,
subtraction has
become the reaper
of the living man: one who
doesn’t need his eyes to
find his feet wet from Styx.

Dear God, i am writing to you in desperation
As i lay in this hospital bed expecting to die
I am not ready for my life's expiration
I am not ready to lay and say goodbye

For a couple of years now i thought death was the answer
I have proof of the canceled orders that I made
The receipts of scars left on my body before the cancer
I assume the funds were insufficient in the cuts I paid

After the dark I was grateful for never having enough
I found that i have people there for me through it all
I have dreams and goals and ways to deal when its tough
I have climbed so high i am not ready to fall

Please God I'm begging you not to **** me
I have a plan for life now and death isn't a part
I wanna feel true love, have kids, and be happy
This time is just the beginning of a beautiful start

Love,
................

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback.

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!
Big, Biggest Love,
        Jeff Gaines

Running through the woods ,I lost my way,
It was an empty morning and an empty day
It was a place where I never wanted to stay,
There was less to listen more to say
I walked alone through the bay,
I was smiling but I was not gay
My life was more of nay,
And less of yay
Hell and heaven were far away,
My life was full of dismay
Everything was spoiled nothing was okay,
My life was an open book, there was nothing to portray,
It was a dare to die play,
With rules I couldn't convey
Everything was black and grey,
It was an empty morning and empty day