You deserve my life
You deserve even more
You deserve my soul
You can own my own

You love with all the parts of you
You thought you would never feel through again
And laying here without them you are empty
Talking to an angel you ask why
Why do you live if only to be in pain
You shed a tear which bursts into flames
Self loathing consumes you
You tell myself you deserve the pain
You wonder how you have managed thus far
By convincing others you are not insane?
So they don't know you imagine your own death
more than once a day
You wonder how long he will stay
Before he realizes you are his biggest mistake
And relieves himself of your burden
By throwing you away
Why does he stay?
He says its because you are his soulmate
So where is your soul?
You feel empty at the core
He is the one you need
With him you are empty no more
He sets you free
But you ask your angel if it is selfish of you
To keep him and his love
Knowing you deserve not even the earth beneath his feet?

I am ashamed of what I did for
                                            Your attention
                    My skin did not deserve
                              All those

B
     l
         o
              o
                   d
                         y
                                               



  *scars

It wasn’t supposed to be like this
You were supposed to be with me
Not him
Not my best friend
How can I get mad at that?
How can I try and drive a wedge between that?
I can’t
I can’t ruin your happiness for my own selfish desires
I can’t tell you how I really feel, because it isn’t mutual
Is it.
Is it?
No, I know it isn’t
And now you send me heartfelt messages, about friendship
Well if that’s all I’m going to be
Then that’s what I will be
I don’t deserve your beauty
I don’t deserve your grace
I don’t deserve your laugh
I don’t deserve the burden of your pain
I don’t deserve you
I have tried
Lord knows I’ve tried to get over you
I’ve spent days, weeks, months hating you
Or at least trying
Now I’m sitting with alcohol in my blood and tears in my eyes
Staring at the picture you gave me before I left
Now, more than ever
I miss you
I want you

I love you

TOO MUCH.
He’s awake now, struggling now, breathing now, living now.
And it’s too much too late, don’t know how much of this I can take.
There’s not enough of me left now.
Breaking seems evident, a tornado in a bottle’s neck.
Choking on the words left unsaid, I am ****** and I am dead.
Family’s fine, too much too hold. Too much to hope for.

You couldn't help, you’d be better off dead.
Been screaming on the inside,
words tumbling black and slick from broken lips.
Keep it in, keep it concealed.
They can’t know what you feel.
The demon’s back and I’m going under.
This storm won’t be contained anymore.
The tidal wave’s heading towards the shore.

I don’t have that much to give.
Take it all before I resist.
Too much too soon, too little too late.
Spread myself thin for the past few days.
Nothing left but stained glass hearts and swollen throats.
No outlet for a soul like mine. It’s too dark to find me inside.
The screams come louder bringing blood.
Sob on for every tear, where the forest meets it’s end. Cry on for the memories.
The grandson you can’t help, the child you let go to hell, the grand daughters you never knew.

This is your ending demon.
No time could ever make you wise,
what god are you to fall again?
This is your ending demon,
now you get to watch them die.

*You deserve this.

at your own pace you fill yourself up with good thoughts, a gradual build leading to a much fuller space
Your unique essence being released into the world
And as you feel the returned good vibrations of those you touch on your journey, you become aware of what filling yourself does for others but also for you
A high of all highs with views you never knew existed
Flowing with life and it's exciting twists and turns
You appreciate just where you are and how far you have come