The words can’t escape me I’m bending and I’m breaking I’m holding onto a thin line Grasping onto the little sanity I have left Death is always near There are often times I wish I wasn’t here Dreams and reality seem to fade I don’t know what’s real anymore it feels like I’m never awake Can this all be a dream for goodness sake Depression swoops in and out of my life and drains me Anxiety knows exactly how to take me Deep into this pit of doubt and despair Wishing sometimes I had an angel to just take me there See the light on the end of the tunnel that I hold onto so near This isn’t a poem about suicide so no worries there now, dear It’s more about how the days used to blossom and now about how I’m feeling numb inside with no one left to care I mean truly what’s the point in life? Sick of hearing everything works out right My bipolar mind can’t make it out tonight Dowsing myself in pills and whiskey Hoping for a moment these feelings of guilt slip me It’s hard when no one truly understands, just hoping one day someone will truly comprehend I started smoking again to help with the anxiety that haunts my thoughts But sadly nicotine might be what ends up killing me and I’ll be the one to haunt Breath a breathe deeply into my lungs corroding my insides I rather feel the pain from smoking than feeling nothing, but numb inside **** my bipolar state of mind Mood swings raging from highs to lows I can’t chase these demons they sure know how to drown me until I have little room for growth I’m not asking for pity, but just for someone to hold me for a second or two I apologize my skies are grey not blue Tell me it’s okay That I’ll be okay I keep reminding myself that I’m not my illness and yet it still taunts me But how can one truly be themselves when their days are often clouded? Where is my mind? I’m mentally, emotionally and physically drained Often jaded Happiness turns to sadness, sadness turns to anger I feel bitter Tired of watching as my life splinters Here I am left alone hoping the ends near
I miss living my own life. Take me back to the days where happiness and better times didn’t tend to fade away. Tired of feeling drained.