I did everything right
said the right lines

1.2 million in diamonds and I didn’t bat an eye
I hide them under my pride
Worth more than his ego
But I swallow
because he is more than the man he is

He buys me porcelain plates everyday
to show he can
I know he can
But I don’t tell him because he gets offended

Every night I smash them to sweep them up
I’m getting better at the smashing
My hands familiar with the motions
Mapping out each broken shard before my face shatters
I don’t miss any fragments

I stepped on one once
Sharp blade on soft skin
Ruby on opal
Maybe I’m not made of ice

They say there is method in madness
But what if the method makes me mad
The slip of sanity must be planned
An hour before the charity ball
2 after the guests leave
30 minutes after dinner
5 when he comes home
A lullaby of broken promises ringing in my ear  
An indulgence

He said there was another woman
He said I wouldn’t care that he was leaving
He said I could afford my own diamonds and more ******* plates anyways

But that’s not the point
The point is to suffocate in silence
To let him buy what I can afford
To swallow what he can’t

But who is the trophy
When you carve me I spill out jewels