I wish I was the one calling the shots
It’s my life I say, but nah it’s not
Cause if I don’t do what I’mtold
I’ll have nowhere to go
Im misunderstood
Unable to be myself
I so badly want you to know ME
But every time I try to share my mind, I’m shutdown
All the progress we’ve made feels so fake
Yeah you say you love me
But how can you when you don’t want to know me, your own daughter.
My thoughts are just demons you say
I’m plagued
discussions turn into fights because it’s your way or nothing
It hurts to see you listen to others and have conversation so polite
You’d quickly disown me too, just like you did my sibling, if I stopped faking just for your sake
Why am I so afraid?
I keep hoping for the day you’ll truly accept me
Our relationship is shallow, stays on the surface
Im unapologetic about not believing the things you do
And that’s been my only truth
Maybe now, here, you’ll finally see who I am
It was silly of me to believe, you might see who I am tonight., you left before I even walked on stage.
Transphobic *******.
I can’t believe I cut down my set choices, to not mention the demons I call my friends. So I wouldn’t offend. God I wanted you to finally notice me. Now I know that will never happen. Thanks for walking out.
The first part I wrote a while ago, about what it’s like with my dad. The second part, after the break, was written as my dad walked out of the show, right before I got on stage. It was my first time sharing my words publicly and I performed with tears streaming down my face, my voice choking. Many times I’ve tried to show him who I am, each time Im shut down, this time publicly humiliated…at least I called him out.
