breathe in incense smoke— swirling carcinogen, but not my favorite. not by far, not when bruised lungs run in the family. smolder, smoke, ash, original sin, a debt i am going to make you watch me pay. i'm always playing the victim. i read seduction, i breathe in incense, to maintain an innocence i never had. it just feels so religious to self-flagellate. i speak in tongues and don't make sense, i try to trace myself through the guilt, and envy jesus. at least he had the nails as reference. how many times you've done this before is about the only difference between being a martyr and deserving it.
And what's worse cursed with something of a conscience that despite being disrespected and ***** will not let me leave.
Vulnerability pressed to the face of death with a smile stretched ear to ear bowed down under the weight of fear.
Courageousness breaks heavy pain. I use it against you.
Prostrate to the matrons I begged for your courage for me.
Surprise Surprise Even when you hurt your loved ones You focus on yourself Surprise Surprise Even when you hurt someone you love You protect yourself
You double down in the name of pride.
Your children are smart enough to purposefully see that they never procreate if only for the world to both act Atropos on this overgrown carcinogen to humanity and slash the path of another hillbilly bloodline
The breath of the wind raises hairs on her neck. She breathes out a clouded breath of whiskey fire. Outside the venue, she kicks her shoes, waiting. Where's the loser on the drum kit? She knows she blows the set with her absence, but she can't Stop tapping her heel at the wall, measuring splits in bricks With her nicotine fingernails. Where's She? She's such a *****. The whole day closes in, in an instant, night descends. Her twentieth cigarette dances in a rush to end it, But her eyes catch sight of the mauve and indigo sky through Buildings over bridges. Twilight ignites her quarter candlestick. Outside the venue she kicks her shoes, waiting. Outside her lonely lungs drink carcinogen to an eager death with smokers. Cough. Cough cough cough Cool as ice.