There are certain words...
Like, depression
Cancer
That become the mascot
For their particular affliction
An all encompassing bubble,
Hepatoma,
Doesn’t mean much
But liver cancer, now that’s a whole nother matter

Just simply using the word
Gives rise to panic.         Anxiety
It makes sense,
That non experts can’t know every type of
Illness or mental disorder out there
So they associate it with a mascot

But,
It’s all the unessesary hype
And fear
The baggage that comes with it
Not as many, knew about zeka
But Ebola?
That was all over the news
Despite being far less of a threat
Simply because,
It became the mascot

A dreadful thing comes into your life
You might have to go under the knife
It can spread
It's in her head
It is going to **** her
It is just going to transfer
I can’t afford to lose another
I can't lose another grandmother
She beat it before
Can she take more?

Someone I know
today he is no more.

Sudden cancer was still
chasing him moments ago.
Can it trace him anymore?

To dream of a place
Where all pain has been healed
All we know is love

Jars are everywhere
Hair in *****
Ventilator next to hair drier
Syringe next to lip stick
Ashtray and alcohol
Red lipstick stain on the mirror
Tissues on the floor
Scissors and extensions
Wigs galore
An unfinished letter
Stained with teardrops and blood
A poem called
Depression
The ending never written
Never to be written
A vase of roses
A note on a card
“Sorry about the loss!”
Cards on the window sill
Get well soon
Happy valentines day
I love you
We miss you
They read never to be looked at again by their intended reader
Broken glass
Empty wine bottle
Hole in the wall
Bruised lady cold on the bed
Blue going up her arm like the lace around the hem
Of the dazzling dress she wore
That night
The night she was diagnosed Cancer free
Back to the stage
But only for a night

Babe Ruth smokes a Raleigh in the doorway,
as i give birth to a broken mirror
if home is where the heart is, i live on the state line
or on my sleeve
he knows that, and as he finishes his cigarette
i ask him if he ever thinks about cancer
"i think of it like i think about 1949,
so far away"

At the age of 2, I knew about death
I knew there was a disease called Cancer
And it killed you
At the age of 5, I felt anger
I felt angry that I never said hello
Life stole you
At the age of 10, I understood pain
I understood the stingy feeling
It’s still with me
Now, I have envy
I envy the ones who have shared time with you
never had the chance
Till forever, I love you
I love the family you brought me
If only you could see

I watched you live a life full of happiness.
Singing karaoke with the family in the living room,
Laughing as you tell stories of your life,
Bringing bibingka to every family party,
Embracing your grandchildren with love,
Giving my mother manicures,
Being loved by anyone you had come across.

I watched you live a life in pain.
Being diagnosed with cervical cancer,
Going through the straining effects of radiation,
Losing your body to the disease,
Suffering as the cancer spread to your lungs,
Struggling to stay awake in fear of not waking up,
Battling to conquer the disgusting sickness,
Laying in bed covered in tubes,
Fighting until you could not fight anymore.

I watched you live your life until the end.
Walking into hospital room,
Seeing your lifeless body,
Crying to know that you were gone,
Clinging to my brother and sister,
Feeling an emptiness that could not be filled,
Weeping with my grandmother over your casket,
Saying my final goodbye.

Now you watch over me.
And I cannot wait until I can live with you again.