you told me you loved me
you told me "you are mine"
you told me you'd love me forever
you told me "you belong to me"
you told me I was your alpha & your omega
you told me "you are why I was born a man, to love you"
you told me you were going to marry me
you told me "I can never love another now"
you told me you'd never let me leave you
you told me "I'll put you in a box in the ground, before I'll let you go"
you told me you'd never hurt me
you told me "I'm going to **** you"
you told me you loved me.

love is not ownership
love is not obsession
love is not violence
love is not suppression
love is not breaking bones
love is not silence
love is not feeling alone

you saw me like you see
one of your treasured
first editions
a thing to show off
to brag about
to your mates
a thing to pick up
and put down
to keep locked up
to covet
a thing you own.

I loved you
when you were
my loving lost boy of the morning
I loved you
when at loves first bloom
you were sweet
passionate
gentle
kind
I loved you
when you made me feel safe
I loved you
before the strong arms
that held me close
broke my bones
and broke my heart
broke my faith
and tore it all apart.

J.C.

Broken trust,
is that how it starts,
when falling apart?

Now, we stand at the crossroads,
jealousy rumbles like the cold, black wind.
Who was the first to sin?

My pain, always your pleasure,
when things were rough,
I could never suffer enough.

The bitter tragedy,
your struggle with guilt.
My wall, you built.

ALesiach © 1/31/2017

This is my safe place away from you
These are my feelings i’d never let you see
I will not lie to you darling
You know me better than that
But I will hide these thoughts far away from you
in my own little castle I’ll build out of deceit and misplaced trust.

Your lies have hurt , why do you talk sweetly to my face then turn around a spit them out with hate. Why do you pass around bad rumors like a mad note, if your trying to be funny well its a sad joke.
You hurt me but I did not see it until it was too late. I cut off the chain that connected us. I bought a ticket to fly away from your negative space. Then I will rinse myself with soap so your hate might just wash right away.

I destroyed the pretty.
It's all emptiness now, what do you expect? You can't expect me to trust you further! Why would you let me break?

I destroyed the pretty.
It's not the question if you trust me, it's the question if I still feel a needle in my arm. It's the question for love and pain; a heart attack in a field of broken Roses.
Why can't you break me further? I am done, and you took my lifesaving essence.

How may I feel betrayed today? If it wasn't you that destroyed, oh, but it was me.

I ruined the pretty, I destroy the last lovely, I broke it.
One was left, now two are shattered.

So give me pain,
pain to ban the feelings,
pain to ban my life decisions,
pain to ruin further what's already lost,
has always been meant to be lost.
God why does it hurt so bad?
It's not like heartbreak,
it hurts like betrayal
and it hurts like death.
The feeling of death, deeply sitting down, wearing me out like a broken glass of beauty.

I threw you down, Glasshouse
Pretty
Beauty
I destroyed the pretty all the beauty is what I took away.
Shattered on the glass wood floor.
Death crawls up my spine like a spider to its to be killed prey.

I can't hear you anymore, how could you???
How on this earth dare you???
You left me!
You let me break you.
Why would you want that?
Isn't one destroyed body enough?
Isn't my misery beautiful enough?

Who do you think you are
To be blaming others for your mistakes
You think you are a perfect
But you’re no saint

You think I don’t have reasons
To be upset with you
I hate to bring a reality check
But I have more reason than you do

Betrayal and broken trust
Are valid reasons i’d think
Maybe you’re just so two-faced
You can’t even see past your own mistakes

You lie and lie
You skirt around the truth
You’re so fake
you even deceive yourself

You gave no apologies
For all the ways you wronged me
You tried to guilt trip and trick
But I won’t be mislead so easily

You delude yourself
Do you even know who you are?
You say the problem is other people
But it was you all along

I need you to text first
Just one time
I always go first and it makes me feel like ****
Like you don't care
Like nobody cares
Perhaps nobody does?
Maybe I'm just not a likeable person?
Maybe I'm just the secret keeper, the agony aunt?
Dump your **** on me and leave
Just to rub it in
You're not the only one
Others do it too
Which makes it worse
Perhaps I'm destined to be alone?
But maybe,
Just maybe
There's a tiny glimmer of hope.

liar, liar
thats all you'll ever be.
your actions prevail that certainly...
how do you sleep at night?
when all you do is lie??

how do you mend hearts??
when your soul rotts...
how do you escape connections??
after you betray someones trust.

your a liar
and thats all you'll ever be
you betray your closest friends
and now you dare to betray me..

you'll never be worth of my trust
cause from the start lies,
has been your cover up
soon enough all those lies will tie you up..